"It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him." -Daniel 2:22
"Do not fear, for I am with you..." -Isaiah 43:5
"...we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, but on account of Your great compassion." -Daniel 9:18

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Blowin' In the Wind

God is so good.
Sunday I had a meltdown. We went to church, but I could not stop crying. Every person that I tried to talk to, I just could not turn the waterworks off. I can handle things as long as I am in my everyday routine, at home, alone. But when people are nice to me (and, of course, they are), I can't handle it. I always express deep emotions with tears. I cried all the way home, too. The pressure just got the best of me.
I couldn't sit through the worship service. I went in search of a place to pray. It was hard to find an empty room, but I finally did. Looking throughout the auditorium and seeing all the people we have met and gotten to know over the past 15 years made me cry too! That God would bless us so mightily with all these friendships. To learn the heartaches and sorrows of those around us. To have been able to lift them up in prayer, as they are doing us now. I never knew how much it could mean to know all those people where talking to God on your behalf.
After all that crying I felt better and even optomistic . That's what church is suppose to do for you, right? The message got me to thinking, too, about how I am handling things, my prayers... my expectations.... my perspective... (Perspective Is Everything!-as my friend, CJ says)
My friend Laurie P was so helpful, too. Wonderful words of comfort and wisdom. We don't see each other much, except in the halls of church every couple of weeks, but God always speaks to me through her and I hope, to her, through me. I feel so blessed to have friends that, even though we may not speak for weeks, even years-we can pick right up where we left off.
Laurie, Jill, CJ, Laurie, Annette, Becca, Rachel, Annette, Kellie, Ina, Patty, and many others...
Anyway, after all that hullabaloo, on Monday I drove to Waco to take a typing test. (Yes, my job search has been extended to Waco.) Baylor University. It would be an hour and a half drive, but if that is all that is available......
But God is showing me that He has got other works in the fire....if I would just be patient! I have turned in a few more resumes to places around town. Several opportunities have opened up in the past few days, some I have been expecting, while others were a surprise. Please keep me in your prayers - that I would make right choices concerning a job, if and when I get an offer.
Today, Charli let me use her jeep. I just lived in the moment for a bit while driving around town with the top down, sipping on a frappaccino (sugar free, of course). The wind blowing my hair. I got several looks from some young guys, until they got close enough to see it was just an overweight grandma driving! I am so glad I am at the age where - I don't care! It was fun!

Al is doing okay. Still struggling with how to rearrange his life to this new way of living. Still struggling with the anger. In our house, we are all going through the stages of grief, for one thing or another, or two or three...
We are both being humbled by the generousity of others. We have received many gifts of money over the past month. It is greatly appreciated. To all those who have given time, money and prayers on our behalf: know that you are "bridging the gap" for us & we appreciate it.
Al is wading through the paperwork that it takes for disability. I am so happy to have Karen Blevins to help. She went with Al yesterday downtown to try and get medical records that he will need. She has been a real blessing to us "blind people" who know nothing about how the goverment works.
Billy Eaton has been great, too. Calling to see how Al is doing every couple of weeks. Today he took Al to the movies and to eat. He really needs that. I really need that. It is very difficult to be with someone, even someone you love, for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He needs other things to do. He needs to retain his independence. I am not ready for him to be so dependent upon me to be with him every minute and direct every minute of his day.
Yet another blessing: On Friday, George is coming to take Al to start his dental work.
I ask that you lift these people up and others I will not name... ask God to bless them beyond their wildest dreams because of their willingness to reach out to those in need.
We go on Monday to the oncologist to find out the results of his latest tests. Pray for good news. I'm not sure how much more bad news I can handle. But, I trust in the Lord and He is my strength. Today's scripture? Psalm 56:3 "when I am afraid, I will trust in You"

1 comment:

Perspective RAD said...

:) love you... great post.. I can relate to this.