"It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him." -Daniel 2:22
"Do not fear, for I am with you..." -Isaiah 43:5
"...we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, but on account of Your great compassion." -Daniel 9:18
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Saturday, July 18, 2009

He's On the Move!

God is really on the move these days. I got the job at Ellis County Clerk's office. I started on Justin's 22nd birthday, July 9. It is a fast paced job. I record all documents to be filed with the clerk of Ellis county. All deeds, liens, affadavits, agreements, releases, etc. Most days are pretty busy. We are so grateful to the Lord for providing. We know that it is all Him because the circumstances tell us so.
By the time I put Al on my insurance it will not be a hugh paycheck, but that's okay. We wanted the job as much for benefits, as money anyway. If it takes care of the costs that his insurance does not pay, it will be worth it. When it gets tough to go to work every day, I just try to remind myself that this is what God wants me to be doing. Otherwise, I would not have gotten the job!
It has been good to get out of the house, meet new people, get some exercise by jumping up from my desk 20-30 times a day, (I have to handle all the public that walks in to record, also) and show that I do still have good skills. I enjoy the work (mostly) and the people have been really great. Next year we will get to move into the new office building they are building downtown for the county.
We have not heard from Social Security about disability yet. It has only been 3 weeks, so we just have to wait.
Last Thursday at noon our real estate agent calls to say he has someone who wants to see our house that evening at 7. So I call my new house Mr. to pick things up a bit. When I got off at 5 (not allowed to takes calls during business hours), I had a message from them saying they were coming at 6! A guy and his wife moving back to Texas from Florida. They have horses.
Friday evening while we were at dinner in Hillsboro with the Spradlings, we got a call with an offer!
I am now waiting for the agent to call me back so I can give him a counter offer. This is just the house and 20 acres. We would still have the other acreage to sell. It will mean we will need to find a place to live until the other sells to buy another house. We could make a good down payment, but not sure what the Lord wants for us to do on that issue, yet.
Selling the house and acres would allow us to be debt free with some money in the bank. Then we could re-group, pray about where we go from here. We are trying not to get too far ahead of ourselves and certainly not God.
I had a great time of prayer and talking to God this morning. I have, many times, wondered why He allows some of His children to be so far from Him at times in their lives. I, myself, spent 15 years as a child of God without really committing my life to Him. Without following His will for me. Without serving Him in any way. Only calling upon Him in my time of trouble or need. (Some may question whether or not I was really a child of God, at that time, but I do not.)
He has revealed to me the reason why, for some....it is so we can learn how much of a miserable failure we are at ruling our own lives. During the past 10 years of serving Him and learning more about Him and turning more and more (hopefully all) of my life over to Him, I have learned that He makes much better decisions than I do.
If I had not learned that lesson well and truly good, I would be making a colossal mess of our lives now by trying to control everything. Thinking that I knew what God wants before He ever even reveals it. That is a dangerous mind set. Or even worse, doing what I thought was the right thing - WRONG!
I learned in my 20's that I was not really good mother material. I had had 2 abortions and was a total basket case when it came to emotions and relationships. Some childhood experiences had retarded my emotional growth in some areas and I had a lot of years of bad choices and even worse experiences.
When Al and I met and married, I was still in that place, but with a companion. Al had some issues of his own. But God gave us a son and he was wonderful. He taught me what true love is all about. Because of our boy we began going to church. I wanted him to have the spiritual experiences of my youth.
From the time Al was saved, God began working in both our lives to bring about the miracle of turning our hearts to Him and radically changing us from the inside out. (Many probably never saw the deep dark evil lurking within us during those first few years). We didn't really even know it but we were starved for the Word and the love of our Heavenly Father.
I gave the raising of my son to the Lord. I knew that I didn't really deserve him, but was very grateful that God entrusted him to me. I wanted to do it right. The only way I could be sure of that is to let God be my guide. I think he did an Awesome job. Justin is a great guy.
Justin is not where I would like him to be spiritually, but that is not my call. I pray for him and ask God to call him unto Himself when the time is right. I have asked God for years not to let me get in the way of what experiences he has for Justin, because I know that they will make him a better man, someday. So I have to stay out of the way and keep my mouth shut and let God have His way in Justin's life. I can't wait to see how it turns out.
The same with our life situation now. I know that on my own, I make lousy decisions - it is a proven fact. God allowed me to see what life is like when I try to take charge. If I had not lived that experience, it would not be real to me now. (I guess I'm a slow learner since it took me 15-20 years to get it through my thick, German skull). But I am here now - waiting upon the Lord -and enjoying the peace that comes with knowing He doesn't make mistakes.
I thank the Lord, for He is sooooo good. I pray that each of you comes to this same realization in your own lives. If you had a friend, who loved you more than you love yourself, who knew everything, who knew the future, who had control over wind, water, fire & demons.....why would you not allow them to determine for you each and every step you take?
We give Him all the praise for all the good things we have been allowed to experience in our lives. We await His calling for the next chapter. We thank Him for the love and peace and understanding He has given to us. We pray that He would keep us on the path that leads to His door. We are grateful for the experiences that get us there quicker.
We are totally overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from God's people to us, from all over the place, some very unexpected. We do not feel deserving of it all, but accept it on our Lord's behalf, as gifts from Him.
We ask those whose hearts are burdened - be in prayer. Al goes for his next chemo on Tuesday because on Monday he sees his dermatologist to see if he has any cancerous moles, etc that need burning off. He will most likely not be feeling great all next week, so we thank you, in advance, for lifting him up.

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