Reaching the Plateau

Refreshing Rain

2009-09-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

Many look at all the rain we have had the past few weeks as refreshing, some are done with it and ready to move on. Others would love it - if it never rained. That is how people are about trials, tests and tribulation. Many would love to never experience anything bad. But then they are the ones with no root system. They have not allowed themselves to see the rain (hard times) as a blessing and soaked up all the goodness from it.
I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, to the point of asking for more trials. But, God has taught me to look for the good in a bad situation. Through His Word and the Old Testiment and New Testiment stories.
I have not been able to study His Word as much these past few months, since going to work, as I did in the past few years. I am so thankful He made me realize the need for intense study when my last job ended, over 2 years ago. Even before Al was diagnosised, I felt I needed to really soak up some truths from Him. I hope to become more disiplined to find the time to get back to that kind of study soon. I miss it. It caused me to grow so fast and deep. It seemed almost every day for 2 years I would have a WOW! or AHA! or YES! moment with God.
That growth, I hope, is what others see when they look at me. The calm reassurance of knowing that God has got our backs. Whatever it seems to be might not be what is....whatever happens (mostly) is not within our power to control..... Our job is to do the dishes, go to work, study His Word and Obey. Studying His Word is how we learn to obey.
I thank our Lord for the rain in our lives. That He has shown us how to continue on through the rain and even find joy in the midst of it.
I confess that I do not spend much time worrying about the future. Some, but not much. During that first year of Al's illness, we did do a lot of thinking about it, but in a good way. Trying to prepare as best we could. Making wills. Deciding what we would do about this or that. There are still many things to do and plan, but for now, God has given us peace. I dare not spend much time in the future or I would not be able to function in the now.
I lean heavily on my Heavenly Father to get me through each day. I talk to him at work instead when I want to scream at someone. I talk to him at home when I want to scream at someone. I give him my frustrations because they are inappropriate in my life now.
As most of you know, Al spent a week in the hospital last week. He had pneumonia. He was probably okay after about 3 or 4 days, but they don't see many cancer patients here in Waxahachie, so they kept him for 7 days. They didn't really want to let him go home then, but he told them he was leaving!
The main thing that scared them, I think, were that his blood counts were so low. But that is just the way a cancer patient has to live. They gave him blood and stuff, but the effects only lasted a couple of days. By the time he went to his oncologist in Dallas on Monday, they were back down again.
He had his monthly chemo (Cytoxan) last Monday. Didn't feel great for a few days, but is coming around. They say they are going to change his type of chemo again soon. Please pray that it will not have bad side effects and that it will continue to keep his protein levels (cancer cells) low.
In the mean time, we are going to try to do better about being out in public so much. Especially during the flu season. So we will probably not be back to church. I resigned from nursery duty, as the babies carry so many germs. Al resigned from the deacon board because he has not been able to fulfill his duties these past few years. He hoped to be able to get back involved, but it just doesn't seem like that is God's plan. I pray God would show him how to minister to people through prayer and phone calls and whatever ways he can.
We have begun the paperwork to build a house not far from where the farm is. Pray that that process would go smoothly. I want a place where Al will be comfortable and have the room to enjoy these next 20 years!
I am very thankful that God gave me such an optimistic personality. (Some may call it naivety or stupidity) It helps to look for the good in all situations. But then, maybe it is not my personality, but God in me that is so optimistic............
I love hearing from each of you and enjoy lifing up your concerns to God through prayer. If you have issues that are troubling you, let me know. Al and I would love to pray for you. I have been praying for the son of a good friend who emailed me last week. I have been praying for the husband of a friend who also has cancer. I have been praying for a very dear friend who just lost his sister suddenly. I have been praying for a cousin who lost her only son in an accident. I have been praying for a brother-in-law who is needing a heart transplant.
We have been and continue to be so grateful for all the prayers for us. They best gift we can give is to return the favor and lift you up.

Galatians 3:23

2009-08-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

"Before this faith came, we were held prisoners...locked up until faith should be revealed." This was one of my devotions this past week.
It is one of 900+ over the past few years that speaks directly to me from God. He uses the devotions that people write (inspired by him-some from centuries ago) to speak truth to us, if we would just be faithful to read them. Just like scripture. And He doesn't just give it to you once, but over and over again, so that you will begin to understand what He is trying to say to you.
Sometimes it is direction, sometimes encouragement and other times attaboys for a job well done.
This devotion and scripture spoke to me about things I have blogged about before. My past and the struggles I had in my younger years. How God was preparing me for the trials of today. That I would learn "God's holy standard through the law and thereby realize my own utter helplessness" in making decisions about my life. That I would gladly learn to live by faith alone. I had to experience, like Paul, being held prisoner. He a physical prisoner, me a mental and spiritual prisoner to the ways of the world. If Paul had never been in prison, he would not have seen God's visions. He was able to inspire others through his writings while there.
Now, I do not consider myself in a league with the apostle Paul, but I hope that my writings would inspire others to deeper faith in Jesus Christ. To encourage others to seek God's personal messages to them through the Word and through daily devotional reading and prayer.
Today's devotion is about strength through testing. Exodus 15:25: "There he tested them." How "God does not want us to be like fragile vases of glass or like greenhouse plants." He wants us to be tested, like steel, to see what we are able to withstand. He wants us to be like storm-beaten oaks, like mountains of granite.... but to accomplish this He must put us through some very rigorous tests.
"Faith cannot be picked from trees like apples....."
I know that my testing days are not over, but as the quote of the day says:
"It is better to weather the storm with Christ than to sail smooth waters without Him." -J.R. Macduff
I thank you all for your prayers and encouragment. Al is doing well.
I am getting used to working full time. Another example of how God answers prayer while using it to strenghten you. He provided this job for me, but He never said that His answer to our prayers would be easy. It has been a struggle some days to learn new things, and keep pace with my responsibillities. I know that I have this job because of the provision of the Lord, therefore, I know it is where He wants me. Because I know this, I can get through the difficult days. It was difficult to wait upon His answer to the job situation. I could have gone out and taken another job that would not have met all our needs, but by waiting upon the Lord to provide, I have the assurance that this is where I need to be, no matter what the difficulties may be.
I ask you to pray with Al and I about our future. Since selling the farm, we want to build a new house. We want to build new so that we know what we are getting. We want things to be as low maintenance as they can get. We are not totally ruling out buying an existing home, but have not found anything that would not require a lot of updating and work.
We have a lot of decisions to make. A lot of prayer time. We want to be where the Lord wants us. The right neighborhood, the right lot, the right builder, the right pool contractor, according to His plans. My desire is for Al to have a place where he is comfortable, has just the right size yard that he feels he can take care of, a garage where he can do projects (as his health allows), a nice, long driveway and a pool in the backyard for therapy and entertainment.
I can't tell you that this is what God wants for us with 100% certainity, but I have prayed about this for many years, knowing we would someday sell the farm. I feel that God is guiding us to this very thing, but I continue to pray for God's direction and confirmation.
Please pray with us, as we pray for you in your struggles. We would very much like to hear from any and all who read this blog. Let us know how we can pray specifically for you. Let us know how God is working in your life. Let us know what struggles you are going through that God has designed to strengthen your faith in Him.
May God richly bless each one of you with a storm to test your faith!

HELLO!

2009-08-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

As Big Tex would say......Howdy folks! It has been a while. So much has changed in our lives since my last blog.
I got a job working for the Ellis County Clerk's office in July. It was a bit stressful at first and is taking some getting used to after not working full time for 15 years. But I feel very blessed to have gotten such a good job with great benefits. Another show of God's love or us, in that He provided what was needed at just the right moment. Knowing I am where God wants me to be gets me through the tough days.
Right after getting the job, we moved to our eldest son's rent house in town. Then Al spent 3 weeks getting everything moved that he had collected over the past 25 years. It was a big job because he was the only one who knew where he wanted most of his stuff. He got rid of some stuff, moved a lot to a friend's farm, and hauled off all the trash stuff.
He had moved a lot of his stuff eariler in the year - anticipating this move. Boy am I glad he did. It would have been too much to deal with all at once. Even he did not realize how much junk he had allowed to accumulate over the years.
Yesterday we closed on the sale of our house and 22 acres. The end of a very great era of our lives. We had great fun at that farm. Youth bonfires and campfires, family parties, shooting skeet, paintball, Krud Wars, water balloon fights, mud wrestling....so many memories. The quite nights, the lovely breezes, the beautiful sunsets.....room to help family members with a place to live when it was needed....
But Al and I are not sad. We are excited. We know that it was all God who found us a buyer. It was the first and ONLY guy who looked at the place. I knew it would be this way because God and I had had soooo many conversations about the sale of our property over the past few years. Even to the point that I knew it would be horse people who bought it. And it was. This couple is about our age and have a Tennessee Walker horse waiting for them to get the place ready. They are going to put on a metal roof (another God thing) and fence the whole thing. I can't wait to see what it will look like.
Guess I will have to take down the picture on this blog and rewrite our profile......
The roof thing - when the house got inspected, that was the only thing they found wrong. It needed a new roof due to hail damage. Insurance would pay and we had a friend offer to put the roof on for free. That was great, but Al would have felt compelled to help and his body just isn't up for that. When the buyers said they wanted to put on a different kind of roof and all we had to do was give them the money our insurance paid - YOU GOT A DEAL! God steps in again.
So now we sit back and get our lives reorganized. Try to get a new rhythm going. We want to build a new house, but are waiting for God's confirmation on who, where, what and when.
Al's health took a bit of a hit with him doing too much (as usual) these past few weeks. But, honestly, no one could have done it but him. He wanted to physically touch every item to know where it was going so he would know where it was. He is a hard-headed German-Italian who has specific ideas about how he wants things done. (Come to think of it - I'm a hard-headed German-Indian who is exactly the same way!)
He had his chemo this past Monday and didn't feel well for a few days, but does pretty well most days. He still has a lot of pain, but that could be, in part, to being so physical. He stays on the pain medicine 24/7 and it helps him to function.
It is hard for me not to be able to go with him to the doctor anymore. It is harder to keep up with what is going on with the cancer. I don't believe they have done any testing to check on how well this chemo is doing with the protein levels. They usually wait several months to make that determination.
Al will have plenty to occupy his time now. With me working, he has to take care of our two girls (dogs) and the house and the groceries and the laundry.... We still have 44 acres to sell.... Next month is the beginning of hunting season, so he will be getting ready for dove hunting, bow season, deer season, turkey season, and every other kind of season..... (I hope he is able to shoot his deer rifle) And when we decide where and what to build he will be needing to inspect the building process on a daily basis...
Our lives have never been dull, so I am trusting God to guide us to the place He has for us in this next chapter. As long as it is filled with love, family and friends - we will be blessed.

He's On the Move!

2009-07-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

God is really on the move these days. I got the job at Ellis County Clerk's office. I started on Justin's 22nd birthday, July 9. It is a fast paced job. I record all documents to be filed with the clerk of Ellis county. All deeds, liens, affadavits, agreements, releases, etc. Most days are pretty busy. We are so grateful to the Lord for providing. We know that it is all Him because the circumstances tell us so.
By the time I put Al on my insurance it will not be a hugh paycheck, but that's okay. We wanted the job as much for benefits, as money anyway. If it takes care of the costs that his insurance does not pay, it will be worth it. When it gets tough to go to work every day, I just try to remind myself that this is what God wants me to be doing. Otherwise, I would not have gotten the job!
It has been good to get out of the house, meet new people, get some exercise by jumping up from my desk 20-30 times a day, (I have to handle all the public that walks in to record, also) and show that I do still have good skills. I enjoy the work (mostly) and the people have been really great. Next year we will get to move into the new office building they are building downtown for the county.
We have not heard from Social Security about disability yet. It has only been 3 weeks, so we just have to wait.
Last Thursday at noon our real estate agent calls to say he has someone who wants to see our house that evening at 7. So I call my new house Mr. to pick things up a bit. When I got off at 5 (not allowed to takes calls during business hours), I had a message from them saying they were coming at 6! A guy and his wife moving back to Texas from Florida. They have horses.
Friday evening while we were at dinner in Hillsboro with the Spradlings, we got a call with an offer!
I am now waiting for the agent to call me back so I can give him a counter offer. This is just the house and 20 acres. We would still have the other acreage to sell. It will mean we will need to find a place to live until the other sells to buy another house. We could make a good down payment, but not sure what the Lord wants for us to do on that issue, yet.
Selling the house and acres would allow us to be debt free with some money in the bank. Then we could re-group, pray about where we go from here. We are trying not to get too far ahead of ourselves and certainly not God.
I had a great time of prayer and talking to God this morning. I have, many times, wondered why He allows some of His children to be so far from Him at times in their lives. I, myself, spent 15 years as a child of God without really committing my life to Him. Without following His will for me. Without serving Him in any way. Only calling upon Him in my time of trouble or need. (Some may question whether or not I was really a child of God, at that time, but I do not.)
He has revealed to me the reason why, for some....it is so we can learn how much of a miserable failure we are at ruling our own lives. During the past 10 years of serving Him and learning more about Him and turning more and more (hopefully all) of my life over to Him, I have learned that He makes much better decisions than I do.
If I had not learned that lesson well and truly good, I would be making a colossal mess of our lives now by trying to control everything. Thinking that I knew what God wants before He ever even reveals it. That is a dangerous mind set. Or even worse, doing what I thought was the right thing - WRONG!
I learned in my 20's that I was not really good mother material. I had had 2 abortions and was a total basket case when it came to emotions and relationships. Some childhood experiences had retarded my emotional growth in some areas and I had a lot of years of bad choices and even worse experiences.
When Al and I met and married, I was still in that place, but with a companion. Al had some issues of his own. But God gave us a son and he was wonderful. He taught me what true love is all about. Because of our boy we began going to church. I wanted him to have the spiritual experiences of my youth.
From the time Al was saved, God began working in both our lives to bring about the miracle of turning our hearts to Him and radically changing us from the inside out. (Many probably never saw the deep dark evil lurking within us during those first few years). We didn't really even know it but we were starved for the Word and the love of our Heavenly Father.
I gave the raising of my son to the Lord. I knew that I didn't really deserve him, but was very grateful that God entrusted him to me. I wanted to do it right. The only way I could be sure of that is to let God be my guide. I think he did an Awesome job. Justin is a great guy.
Justin is not where I would like him to be spiritually, but that is not my call. I pray for him and ask God to call him unto Himself when the time is right. I have asked God for years not to let me get in the way of what experiences he has for Justin, because I know that they will make him a better man, someday. So I have to stay out of the way and keep my mouth shut and let God have His way in Justin's life. I can't wait to see how it turns out.
The same with our life situation now. I know that on my own, I make lousy decisions - it is a proven fact. God allowed me to see what life is like when I try to take charge. If I had not lived that experience, it would not be real to me now. (I guess I'm a slow learner since it took me 15-20 years to get it through my thick, German skull). But I am here now - waiting upon the Lord -and enjoying the peace that comes with knowing He doesn't make mistakes.
I thank the Lord, for He is sooooo good. I pray that each of you comes to this same realization in your own lives. If you had a friend, who loved you more than you love yourself, who knew everything, who knew the future, who had control over wind, water, fire & demons.....why would you not allow them to determine for you each and every step you take?
We give Him all the praise for all the good things we have been allowed to experience in our lives. We await His calling for the next chapter. We thank Him for the love and peace and understanding He has given to us. We pray that He would keep us on the path that leads to His door. We are grateful for the experiences that get us there quicker.
We are totally overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from God's people to us, from all over the place, some very unexpected. We do not feel deserving of it all, but accept it on our Lord's behalf, as gifts from Him.
We ask those whose hearts are burdened - be in prayer. Al goes for his next chemo on Tuesday because on Monday he sees his dermatologist to see if he has any cancerous moles, etc that need burning off. He will most likely not be feeling great all next week, so we thank you, in advance, for lifting him up.

4th of July, Putman Style

2009-07-06T08:33:00.001-07:00

We had a great time on the 4th watching the kids pop fireworks and light their sparklers.

It was mainly our kids and gkids, but a few friends showed up, too. Tim & Kim w/g-daughters. Wes and Christie w/Cody and Eric. Greg and Angie w/kids. And, of course, Papa, Nana, Lewayne and Virgil. It was a fun day.

Keith cooking sausages and hot dogs. Wes brought some great ribs. The kids played on the water slide and raced four wheelers (until Kim found out). The weather was hot during the day, but cooled down enough to sit outside in the evening. From our place you can see fireworks all around the horizon. Friday night we were able to watch the Waxahachie display from our front porch!

Here are our gkids. First pix from the top, our youngest, Grant, Micah, Jarrett and Brooke.

Second pix is Chance, Peyton and Kelsey. Good looks run in the family!

Just look at Elese, Charli and Kim with her friend Angie:

Al looking out across the pasture. Watching everyone having fun. The guys got to shoot some skeet later in the day while Lewayne, Christie and I took Kelsey on a quick shopping trip.

Hope you all had a great holiday with your loved ones, too. We certainly missed everyone who wasn't there. Maybe next year.

Al felt really good this past week, except when he overdid. He gets pain in his back and arm when he lifts too much or bends too much. He begins 2 full weeks of radiation treatments on his arm today.

He looks really good, though, doesn't he?

A Pounding

2009-06-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

This has been an awesome week, so far. Last Friday I got the call to interview with Ellis County on Wednesday (tomorrow).

Then on Saturday I was priviledged to help with Campfire Creek Therapeutic Riding Center's first "Ride of Champions". It was so great to see the excitement and smiles of all those kids who have been riding this past session. They have all made such an improvement in some way. Some it is posture, some balance, some speech, while others the improvements are not as noticable to you and I, but their parents see it. Al got to come out for a little while, but didn't want to push it with the heat. We feel so blessed to have come to know Bobby and Emily and help in small ways to further their mission.

Al did not feel well, at all, for the 5 days after his chemo. But Saturday morning he woke up not feeling bad, so he took it pretty easy over the weekend. That nausea can hit all of a sudden, so you don't want to get too far from home. We are hopeful that he will feel good for 3 weeks out of each month during this chemo treatments, which are indefinite. Today (Tuesday) he woke up feeling really good. Not as tired as he has been over the past year or more. He is able to mow and putter around the house, as long as he doesn't lift anything too heavy and overdo.
He is having a new issue with his right forearm. They took x-rays and it is sore, but they didn't see any fractures. They are going to do some radiation treatments on it tomorrow. We did learn, however, from the radiologist, that his left hip has a fracture. Obviously it was there even before they put the rod in that leg, but no one told us. He had been having some pain there, but figured it was from the operation and the new hardware. He is balking at more surgery right now. That is a prayer request - that he not be stubborn just for the sake of not wanting to do it. He may have several more surgeries in his future, but we will have to determine when it is enough. The risk of infections and complications is a concern with each surgery.
We are thankful for today and that he feels good today. We have family and friends coming over on Saturday to eat hot dogs, shoot some skeet and pop some fireworks. I know he will enjoy watching the gkids play and run and laugh and have fun.
We got several nice surprises this past weekend and we want to thank all who participated. Especially Marilyn and all her volunteers who blessed us with the proceeds of her garage sale. It is very much appreciated and I will be making a trip out to her place to tell her so.
Also, a church in Corsicana, where we have never been, but our friends Steve and Ina attend, gave us a pounding. For those of you who don't know - it is a tradition from centuries ago where neighbors welcomed new settlers by bringing them a pound of whatever they had in their lauder (pantry). Pioneers usually had very little by the time they got to the end of their journey and began to set up housekeeping. There was so much food! A truckload. It is very humbling. A very personal way to show love to those in need - even when you don't know them. We are blessed.

We plan to pass some of it on, as it is much more than we can use, to a food pantry or other family in need.
We woul like to visit some of those churches where we have never been, but know of folks who have had us on their prayer lists for some time. We ask God's grace to allow us this priviledge. We need to make trips to Irving, Cleburne, Evant and Corsicana. New Mexico and Colorado and even a few others here in Waxahachie!
Another praise: We finally got Al's social security disability paperwork turned in with the help of Karen. Pray for swift and favorable results.
We would appreciate your prayers for the job interview. We realize it is all in God's hands and want what He wants for us according to His plan. If it is not this job, then we know he will provide for us, as he has already been doing.
If you have been a part of the blessings bestowed upon us, I hope that you have received the joy and peace that comes with serving the Lord, by serving others. We hope to, some day, be in the position to "pay it forward" and bless others, as well.

A Man in the Land of Uz

2009-06-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Let me see....what's been going on since my last blog....
A movie and dinner with my friend, CJ last week. Nice to get out of the house with someone I love like a sister and have lots of fun with.
Father's Day - a nice relaxing day thanks to Al's sister Lewayne and her husband, Virgil who invited us over for great burgers and Wii (mostly watching).
Monday we had a doctor's appointment before going to the infusion room for his first IV of Cytoxan. Since he has had some pain in his right forearm, off to x-ray. Those appointments took all day long in Dallas. Nice dinner out with Justin and Charli.
Tuesday Al was up very early and got some stuff done outside, but began experiencing some nausea. Took medicine for the nausea, but it made him sleepy so he went to bed early. Got some good sleep, though! Works better than the sleep aids. Nausea is not too fun though.
Wednesday Al slept pretty late, didn't feel very well most of the day. Doctor called to say he needed to get some radiation next week on that arm, so I'm assuming they saw some lesions (Cancer). Al was not too happy about that and is already protesting any more rods in his body. I told him not to get too far ahead of things - it is just too scary to think about. We thought we might have a bit of a break, but, alas it is not to be.
Al may not want anymore rods, but he may have to get used to it because this will not be the end. There are how many bones in the human skeleton? The cancer can seek and destroy them all! I realize that he will have his "I can't take anymore of this!" moment - but it's way too soon for that. I'm not ready for that. We've still got a lot of good years. I am believing that.
Today, I went to a funeral in Ft. Worth for my 11 yr old 2nd cousin. He was my cousin Barbara's only son. I had never met him before today, but know that I will get to know him better in Heaven. Our family has been fractured for many years and I hate that we have all grown up, gotten married, had kids - in diferent worlds. But today, although sad, was a beginning, I hope. Of restoration. To God be the Glory.
On a happy note, Justin and Charli are doing well after the loss of the baby. They are moving forward, planning a wedding. I am grateful to be able to be a part of their lives, their healing, their growing as a couple and pray that God will bless them and draw them close to Him.
Thanks to Karen B for her help in getting the paperwork together, the letters written, the vast amounts of information typed up for us to be able to turn in Al's papers to Social Security tomorrow. We pray for a quick decision and a generous portion.
Still no nibbles on our property or a job. Nothing. Nothing at all. I am wondering if I misread what we were suppose to do in regard to these two issues. Maybe I was projecting my own thoughts, hopes, dreams onto what I took for signs from God. So, I am struggling to let go of both of these issues, step back and try to get my signals straight.
Al and I have both been in and out of a depressed state over the last few months. I suppose it is normal and natural. There is ebb and flow. We are trying to work our way out of that. We do put our trust in the Lord, but it doesn't keep you from getting down.
I have begun a new bible study and that, along with several devotionals that I read periodically, really help sometimes. I have really been struggling with all this waiting - nothing new happening (at least, not any good stuff).
We would really appreciate some fresh lifting up. I have begun saying my prayers while laying face down on the floor - in reverence to The Holy One. He deserves all our honor and our praise, for He alone has been our Redeemer and our Savior.
Pray that the nausea would subside and not last much longer. Pray that the radiation would stop this latest cancer attack in it's tracks. Pray that the SS stuff is well received and is complete and we receive a swift decision. Pray for God to shove me out of the way, so that He has total control in our lives. Pray that we would see God in our every day and that He would show us joy and peace. Pray for Justin and Charli. Pray for Christ to return - soon.
Next up - July 4th. Al feels like he wants to open up our house to have our usual party/picnic. We won't be cooking. We will just have the grill out for anyone who wants to bring some dogs or hamburgers. The kids and gkids will be out with their waterslide, four wheelers, friends, fireworks and guns. Water guns, shotguns, hand guns.... Hopefully, Al will feel up to shooting some skeet. If you don't have other plans, feel free to drop by to say hi and visit, cook a dog and/or bring the kids out to shoot fireworks.
Hope to see you all soon.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

2009-06-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

Nothing new to report. Just thought I would blog about how absolutely nerve racking it is to have nothing to do but wait! Still working on papers for disability. Still no activity on our property. Still no interviews. Just dishes and laundry and junk like that.....
So little to do that I don't have anything to talk about.....except God's goodness to us and the encourgement He gives me each day in my devotional.
I will be starting a new bible study next week, so that will give me something to concentrate on for an hour or so a day.
Al did get to go fishing this past Sunday and Monday with his friend Steve. They took it slow and had a great time. He's thinking of trying to hit a few golf balls soon.
We go for Al's first infusion of the new chemo Cytoxan, on Monday.
Happy Father's Day to all you Dads.

SURPRISE! /// Have another round ..... of chemo

2009-06-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

Last week things seem to be turning around. We got some good news about finances. Looks like we are going to be able to hang on to our property....at least until it sells. With help from several different sources.
If we can ever get all this paperwork together and get the disability claim turned in, we will do okay...eventually. We pray for a swift decision and that it would work in our favor. The determination they make on our claim has a direct bearing on what I need in a job (benefits). If they were to consider him disabled at the time of his stem cell transplants, then I would not need a job that would cover him, insurance wise. If they set the date at the time of his separation from work, then I will need a job that would cover him. It can all be very confusing and hard to keep up with.
I got several chances to apply for some promising job opportunities. Will have to wait to see how they all pan out and if any actual job offers materialize. Please pray that I would recognize the one that God has for me.
Friday, George came and got Al and took him for his 1st root canal. It took like 3 hours, but Al felt so much better afterward. He was estatic to be able to eat and drink without pain. Thanks George! Only a couple more to go.
Sunday we had a great time of fellowship at the church-wide picnic after services. Then we came home to a pasture full of cars. I was sort of stunned, at first. I couldn't figure out what was going on. My husband, along with Kim and Lewayne and other family members had arranged a surprise 25th anniversary party. I was really surprised. It was great! Beautiful cake. Lots of good friends. We missed all those that couldn't make it, but enjoyed more fellowship throughout the afternoon. Half of those people were the same ones we had talked with at church that morning! What a blessing! Thanks to all who came and all who prepared a truly special event. It really means a lot to me.
It was fantastic to see Perry and Annette Prudhomme (call Al and let him know how things went for you this week 972.824.8185)
Today, we went for the monthly checkup. The results of those tests done last month were okay. Not great, but okay. The cancer levels had risen, slightly. Last time the level was at .3% and it had risen to .4%. So the oncologist feels the Revlimid's usefulness is over. He is taking him off that chemo pill. In a couple of weeks he will start a new regime of once a month IV of Cytoxan. He has had a few doses of this before during stem cell transplant procedures. It will still effect his energy level and might nauseate him, but they will give him meds for that. He might lose a little hair, but not all.
They are waiting a few weeks so that he can get over the bronchitis infection that developed suddenly yesterday evening. As soon as everyone left - wham! it hit him. Needless to say he did not sleep well and neither did I. I am so afraid of it turning into pneumonia. The doc gave him a Rx for antibiotics to knock it out.
We also had to stay for several hours today for him to get back on Aredia. It is the bone strengthening IV he used to get every month. He was taken off while having surgeries. If he were getting any other kind of dental work done, he probably would have to remain off it, but as they are working below the gum lines, he says he is at greater risk of bone breaks without it.
So, the cancer is not in remission, but it is under control. Our main focus now is to avoid any breaks and infections. The doc told him that if he feels he needs to go into the hospital for a few days for fluids or whatever, it is better than dying of pneumonia. Seriously.
I wish he were still getting a monthly breathing treatment. It seemed to help keep his lungs clear and he never got sick while getting them.
Now we have a new chemotherapy, for the time being. It will probably change again when the new drug becomes available.
We ran into Steve Newport. He was getting a checkup. His cancer is returning. He is still on dialysis every night. Didn't get to get a full update or see Gaynelle, but hope she will email us with the latest results. We are praying for you, Steve!
Our prayer is that the antibiotics would knock this infection out quickly, so that he can feel good for a few weeks before he gets the next chemo.

Blowin' In the Wind

2009-06-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

God is so good.
Sunday I had a meltdown. We went to church, but I could not stop crying. Every person that I tried to talk to, I just could not turn the waterworks off. I can handle things as long as I am in my everyday routine, at home, alone. But when people are nice to me (and, of course, they are), I can't handle it. I always express deep emotions with tears. I cried all the way home, too. The pressure just got the best of me.
I couldn't sit through the worship service. I went in search of a place to pray. It was hard to find an empty room, but I finally did. Looking throughout the auditorium and seeing all the people we have met and gotten to know over the past 15 years made me cry too! That God would bless us so mightily with all these friendships. To learn the heartaches and sorrows of those around us. To have been able to lift them up in prayer, as they are doing us now. I never knew how much it could mean to know all those people where talking to God on your behalf.
After all that crying I felt better and even optomistic . That's what church is suppose to do for you, right? The message got me to thinking, too, about how I am handling things, my prayers... my expectations.... my perspective... (Perspective Is Everything!-as my friend, CJ says)
My friend Laurie P was so helpful, too. Wonderful words of comfort and wisdom. We don't see each other much, except in the halls of church every couple of weeks, but God always speaks to me through her and I hope, to her, through me. I feel so blessed to have friends that, even though we may not speak for weeks, even years-we can pick right up where we left off.
Laurie, Jill, CJ, Laurie, Annette, Becca, Rachel, Annette, Kellie, Ina, Patty, and many others...
Anyway, after all that hullabaloo, on Monday I drove to Waco to take a typing test. (Yes, my job search has been extended to Waco.) Baylor University. It would be an hour and a half drive, but if that is all that is available......
But God is showing me that He has got other works in the fire....if I would just be patient! I have turned in a few more resumes to places around town. Several opportunities have opened up in the past few days, some I have been expecting, while others were a surprise. Please keep me in your prayers - that I would make right choices concerning a job, if and when I get an offer.
Today, Charli let me use her jeep. I just lived in the moment for a bit while driving around town with the top down, sipping on a frappaccino (sugar free, of course). The wind blowing my hair. I got several looks from some young guys, until they got close enough to see it was just an overweight grandma driving! I am so glad I am at the age where - I don't care! It was fun!

Al is doing okay. Still struggling with how to rearrange his life to this new way of living. Still struggling with the anger. In our house, we are all going through the stages of grief, for one thing or another, or two or three...
We are both being humbled by the generousity of others. We have received many gifts of money over the past month. It is greatly appreciated. To all those who have given time, money and prayers on our behalf: know that you are "bridging the gap" for us & we appreciate it.
Al is wading through the paperwork that it takes for disability. I am so happy to have Karen Blevins to help. She went with Al yesterday downtown to try and get medical records that he will need. She has been a real blessing to us "blind people" who know nothing about how the goverment works.
Billy Eaton has been great, too. Calling to see how Al is doing every couple of weeks. Today he took Al to the movies and to eat. He really needs that. I really need that. It is very difficult to be with someone, even someone you love, for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He needs other things to do. He needs to retain his independence. I am not ready for him to be so dependent upon me to be with him every minute and direct every minute of his day.
Yet another blessing: On Friday, George is coming to take Al to start his dental work.
I ask that you lift these people up and others I will not name... ask God to bless them beyond their wildest dreams because of their willingness to reach out to those in need.
We go on Monday to the oncologist to find out the results of his latest tests. Pray for good news. I'm not sure how much more bad news I can handle. But, I trust in the Lord and He is my strength. Today's scripture? Psalm 56:3 "when I am afraid, I will trust in You"

"I will not let you go unless you bless me..."

2009-05-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

"...Then he blessed him there." This was the scripture for today from Genesis 32:26,29 It is from the story of Jacob, as he returns home according to God's command. He spends much time wrestling with God in his anxiousness over his future.
Even though God presented Himself to Jacob in a form that could be wrestled with, ultimately, He was in control. By putting Jacob's thigh out of joint, He showed how quickly and easily He could disable him. So, Jacob had to come to terms with the fact that wrestling with God didn't get him anywhere. You can't force blessings from God.
We have to cease our struggling. Give up our own will and cling to the Father. Cling...not wrestle. In years past I can remember my grandmother talking of spending hours in prayer, wrestling with God. But, I believe, He wants us to just rely upon His judgment. Not to become weary with struggling against Him. This will only hinder His ablity to work in our lives.
This is so where Al and I are right now. Weary from the wrestling and the struggle of trying to force blessings from God. I have been hearing Him say for weeks now that I need to quit being so anxious and just get on with life. Leave the monumental tasks to Him.
Do the dishes, do the laundry, take a nap, feed the dogs, write a blog, get back to a deeper bible study, mow the yard....stay busy and content with the everyday workings that have to get done. When the time is right....He will provide answers and blessings where He sees fit.
He might even change our name to Israel!

This Too Shall Pass

2009-05-26T13:59:00.000-07:00

These past few years we have seen the dark clouds continually gather around us. Al's cancer diagnosis, the chemo treatments, the stem cell transplants, the challenges of making it through each day, the loss of his job, the confusion that comes with trying to make sense of such a rapid shift in your entire being, the loss of the baby this past week, the upheaval of packing up everything except the necessities, only to find you aren't going to be moving anytime soon, the frustration in trying to sell a property during these difficult times, the fruitlessness of job hunting in a recession, the mental struggles of being hit with wave after wave of bad, unpleasant or downright heartbreaking things.
We don't know where to go from here, what to do that we haven't already done, there is nothing left to do except wait. When you lose so much in such a short space of time, you can be tempted to just give up. To forget about what you didn't lose. So, you have to say, "What are we left with?". We are left with a home, for now. We are left with our family that have been very supportive. We still have our great friends who have lifted us up in many ways. We still have a deep and abiding faith in our Heavenly Father. It is enough.
I won't lie. The struggle definitely takes it's toll. To do battle every day with anger, resentment, anguish, heartbreak, fear, letdowns, frustration, fatigue, sickness, loneliness, isolation, and so many other emotions - it will get to anyone! I feel myself becoming weary of the battle. But in my weariness, God always sends me words of encouragment. Either through an email, a phone call, a card or my daily devotional. Here are a few excerpts from the past week and you will see what I mean:
From "Streams in the Desert"
May 16 - Do not be afraid, Daniel. since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me 21 days. ~Daniel 10:12-13
Daniel prayed for 21 days, God heard, but Satan stood in the way. Until Satan was defeated, God's blessings were hindered.
May 18 - We were under great pressure...so that we despaired even of life...But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9
The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. It makes us more compassionate and understanding of others.
May 22 - Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this. Psalm 37:5
Turn over your burdens to Him and He will do great works on your behalf.
May 23 - They were at their wits' end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and He brought them out of their distress. Psalm 107:27-28
Do not be discouraged - it may be the last key on the ring that opens the door.
May 24 - Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Genesis 21:2
We must be prepared to wait on God's timing. It is precise, for He does things at the very time He has set. The One you wait for will not disappoint you. He will never be even five minutes behind the appointed time.
May 26 - Spring up, O well! Sing about it. Numbers 21:17
The children of Israel needed water. As instructed by God, they gathered together to dig a well. As they dug in the sand, they sang praises for what was to come. They tapped the stream that ran deep below the surface, unseen for a long time. Nothing pleases the Lord as much as praise. Praise in advance of things to come. He will supply our needs, even in the desert.

You know how it is when God is speaking to you...you just don't want to stop reading. I sneaked a peek at tomorrows, too.
May 27 - Bring them here to me. Matthew 14:18
Do you find yourself surrounded with needs, and nearly overwhelmed with difficulties, trials, and emergencies? Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill. Remain still before Him and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. Do nothing that He himself has not commanded you to do. Allow God time to work and He surely will. Then the very trials that threatened to overcome you with discouragement and disaster will become God's opportunity to reveal His grace and glory in your life, in ways you have never known before. My God will meet all your needs accoring to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Hallelujah! Right on target.

So let me take this opportunity to praise Him.
Our Heavenly Father, Lord and Master over all, we give thanks and praise to you this day. Thanks for all the blessings you have allowed us to partake of all these years.
Great family, good friends, fellowship, a home, missions, vacations, toys, good work, children, freedom, good health, The Word, learning, trials, grandchildren and so, so much more.
We have not deserved not one minute of all the good things that You have made possible for us to enjoy.
We praise you for who You are. Maker of all things. Our Father, our Counselor, our Redeemer, our Healer, our Savior to come.
Now we thank You for what You are going to do in our lives, if we would but, BE STILL. That You will grow us closer to You through the deep sorrows we are passing through. We trust You, we abide in You, we love You. Amen.

Al's Update: He's doing pretty well. He will not be able to mow yards with his friend Steve for purposes of being disabled. He was not going to be able to hold up physically. Our yard is all he can handle. He is working on paperwork for SS Disability and a retirement from TXU.
He has some serious issues with his teeth. He has been in a lot of pain. Needs several root canals. Blessings on Dr. George for helping out with that.
He has not been feeling really good, but that is probably because he tries to do too much.
I have told him it is okay to throw away the rulebook when it comes to planning his day. He can sleep as late as he needs to. There is no set time when he has to do anything. This will take some getting used to.
It will be a couple of weeks before we go back to the oncologist and find out the results of those tests to see what is going on with the cancer levels.

Streams in the Desert

2009-05-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this with everyone. Remember a couple of blogs back I was rambling about being in a desert and stuff? Well, I had also been praying about finding Justin and Charli a devotional to read (if they will).

Today our son, Keith called to get an update on all things Putman. He told me about this devotional he had been reading and how it really spoke to him in their time of trial. (He is unemployed at the moment, living with in-laws). The moment he told me the name, I knew it was the one God wanted me to get for them.

I have not read it myself, but bought myself a copy also. I have since learned that there is an updated version, so I hope they are able to understand the writing of the original. But, I know that God can bring understanding to their hearts and minds. As He did for me when I started reading "My Utmost for His Highest". Another devotional, which I highly recommend.

Please pray with me that when I present this to them tomorrow, they will devour it as they would a chocolate cake. Then crave more each and every day. That God would use the printed words to minister to them.

When the Bottom Drops Out

2009-05-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

This is our youngest, Justin. He and Charli have been expecting a baby, until last week. She has been spotting almost from the beginning of the pregnancy. Friday she went to a fetal specialist in Dallas. The baby has a deformed spine and organs outside the body. She is not expected to carry it full term, but if she should, it will not live long outside of the womb.
Another blow to our family. This is a very difficult time. This couple is so young to be having to handle this kind of situation. I pray that they will be strong in their faith and be drawn closer to our Lord, who is the only One who can provide what is necessary to handle this situation.
We are blessed and grateful for all the prayers of those we know and many around the country whom we don't know. We continue to pray for guidance for Justin and Charli, for Al's health, and for our financial situation. Everything about our lives is in limbo.
We give thanks to the One who created us and this baby. We know that the Lord loves us all and this baby. His will is what we seek. He knew us in our mother's womb and He knows this baby.
Praise be to the God of the Universe for His grace and mercy.

Crossing the Plateau

2009-05-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

In this battle with cancer and with life, we were thrown down off our high place at the time of diagnosis. Over the past few years we have struggled to climb back up and we did finally reach the plateau. That place where things level off and it is just a vast expanse before you.
With the latest developments in our lives, we may have been lowered to another plateau, but it is still a plateau. An expanse of seemingly endless desert before us. But it is all a mirage. God only allows us to see what is just in front of us, so we don't see all the things that are to come. There may be mountains, certainly more valleys, but still more plateau.
It can be very frustrating to not be able to see what is up ahead, but that is why we need a sovereign God to lead the way. I believe it is why He made the world round. Do you think that Columbus would have ever ventured to the west if he had seen what a great expanse of ocean he would have to overcome?
We can, however, look back and take comfort. As I look over my shoulder I see the hand of God at work, molding and preparing both Al and I. We could fret over the mistakes we made. If we had only saved more money... If we had only made this decision instead of that one... If we had only prepared for this kind of emergency...we would not be in this situation.
I have caught myself saying, if Al has only kept his job at TXU.... If I had gone back to work years ago.... If we had just sold our property a few years ago, when the economy was booming....
But, it Al had remained at TXU, he would not be who he is today. If I had gone back to work, I would have missed all the ministry opportunities God allowed me to participate in that have radically changed me from who I used to be. Opportunities to work with some of the most awesome, Godly people who showed me how to forgive myself, trust in God and keep moving in His direction!
So....here we are. Crossing the plateau. Sometimes a vast desert. But sometimes an oasis. We are living a DOGS life. (Depending on God's Sovereignty) Knowing He has our backs. He has been preparing us to handle what is up ahead. He will give us what we need, when we need it. He will sell our property, when and if it is part of His plan. He will provide a job for me, if it is part of the plan. All things for His glory, in His time and in His way.
He has prepared us to move forward, each day, living as DOGS.
With lots of help. We have been so blessed by so many friends and family with offers to help. Several have offered to help pay for various things....even though they may not be much better off than we are. We sincerly appreciate all offers, but we are pretty good for the next few weeks.
Al already has a new job! Part-time. Mowing yards with his friend, Steve. If it all works out. We don't want to interfere with any of Steve's family income, so we are hoping they get enough yards to make up for Al's portion. I am concerned about Al being outside in the heat this summer, but hope he only has to work in the morning hours. If he takes good care of himself with sunblock, long-sleeves, hats, and hydration, he should do okay.
Al already has the promise of a vehicle! Steve, again. They have several trucks that might be a candidate for Al to get fixed and running.
We already have a place to move, if the property does not sell in 3-4 months. Steve and Ina. They have a travel trailer we can stay in. Italy. Bank of America told Al - no, they would not work with us on the home equity loan. We can't pay it, so it looks like we will be losing our house, if God does not provide a buyer soon.
We still are not sure what kind of income we will have. It all depends on unemployment and social security. He will have a small pension from TXU. That will not kick in for 3-4 months and will be about 1/4 of his last salary. Not really sure about unemployment, whether he is qualified or not. Not sure if he is classified as disabled if he has not yet filed with SS.
It is all still very murky. Al will be trying to wade through all the paperwork this next week.
Thankfully, the company will be paying for 18 months worth of COBRA, so he will be able to keep up with his chemo & other treatments.
Yesterday was a post-surgery visit to the surgeon. Took x-rays. All good. Back in 6 months. Let him know if anymore pain develops other places.
Also, yesterday, monthly visit to the oncologist. Thought he was going to have to endure a bone marrow biopsy. Didn't happen. (yeah!) They only give a local in the oncologist's. Unlike the transplant office where you get IV meds.
Instead Al has to give them 24 hours worth of urine. Doc says this is more accurate for determining the amount of protein in the body, anyway. Al is like - sign me up for that!
Hope to get some results from that soon. Hopefully, holding the line on that cancer with the Revlimid.
Al's white blood cells had recovered somewhat from the previous month's. Not normal, but better. Red blood cells, not so much. Got another shot of Aranesp.
We are discussing what treatments may come next. Transplant doc wants us to test some people to find our who might be a match for stem cells. Just in case, one day, he needs a transplant with someone else's cells. He can't do one with is own again. With another person's cells, it would be a little different. More like an organ transplant, where the body might reject the cells. More chances for infections and Graft vs Host Diesease. Bad stuff. So we are thinking that will be a "last resort" procedure.
Most likely, if he needs another type treatment, we will go with a new chemo being approved for this summer or one of several others that are already approved for myeloma treatment.
For now, we are crossing that plateau, one step at a time. Living a DOGS life.

Turn the Page

2009-05-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

It is time to turn the page and get on with the next chapter of our lives. Al was fired from his job yesterday. They say it was because of work slowdown, but we know different. There was never anything in writing, but it was clearly stated verbally that they were tired of him not being able to be at the office full time and did not like the amount of money he was costing them in insurance premiums.
Al is understandably upset about the whole thing, but handling it very well. We had been expecting it and preparing for it, but it was still a blow. We feel good that we heeded God's urging for us to get things done. Clean out the house, put all but the essentials in storage, put the property on the market, move my mom, etc. It has been a small consolation that we were somewhat prepared.
They are going to pay for COBRA for 18 months, but only 1 month salary. After that - who knows? Al has already begun the process to start drawing his retirement from a previous employer and to collect unemployment from this present one. But those things all take time to kick in. He will be applying for disability in the next week or so, but no money there for, at least, 6 months.
It has been said that they probably broke the law in firing him because he is disabled. But, legally, I am not sure if he is classified as disabled or not. He does have a terminal illness, but will that hold up in court? Will they discontinue the COBRA payments if we file a lawsuit against them? Is this the right path to take? Don't know.
Our kids and our friends have been very supportive. Offering to help pay bills and stuff. We really appreciate all the prayers and advice. We are just taking it day to day, minute by minute. Waiting to see what the Lord has for us next.
As we will not be able to pay our home equity loan, we probably have about 3 months before we get evicted from our place. It's possible I could get a job before then or the place could sell. Things are not looking too bright in either of these categories.
I am cross-eyed from job-hunting on-line every day! I try to keep records of what jobs I have applied for, but it is so confusing. The switch you from this website to another and then another, with all kinds of advertments in between. Some of them are quite deceiving, trying to get you to sign up for information on college institutions or ringtones, etc. There are no actual people you can talk to anymore. Your life is in the hands (or keys) of your computer.
So, for the next few weeks we are okay. We just won't look any further down the road than that. My prayer is that Al would not get discouraged in the amount of paperwork it is going to take to get all this stuff underway. That he would not see this situation as a failure on his part. He did the best he could possibly do under the circumstances.
Pray for God to guide us - inch by inch. And that we would LISTEN and act according to what He wants us to do.

Happy 58th Birthday

2009-05-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

Al has made it past another milestone - 58 years old today. The second surgery is behind us and he seems to be recovering well. Down to only one crutch. Off the pain meds, so he can start driving himself to work again tomorrow. I am praying that he will level out on this plateau for many years. This summer they are suppose to be coming out with a new chemo that his oncologist is talking about putting him on. We'll see. As long as the one he is on is working.... Like they say, "If it ain't broke, Don't fix it."

He is due to have a bone marrow biospy this Friday. We will see what has been going on in his blood for the past few months. I pray that the protein levels have remained almost zero, but that his red and white blood cells would start producing some healthy stuff to give him some energy.

He is now vested in his 401(k) at work, so he feels better about if he should get laid off. Haven't heard anymore talk about that lately. You know the drill ... they wait until your sure they aren't going to do anything ... then, WHAM! But, we are trying not to make it a daily habit to worry about all that.

Praise God, I have an interview tomorrow! Not sure what will come of it, but at least it is a sign that there is at least one job out there. Just want to do what God's will is for us. It is with the government, so it would be really good benefits.

No lookers yet on our property. Guess the timing is not right, yet. Just keep us in your prayers for all these issues.

Same Surgery, Second Femur

2009-04-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

The second surgery to insert a titanium rod into Al's other femur was a success. All went well & he is doing good. Seems to have more pain, but that could be due to the fact he is moving around more, sooner, than the last one.
The first time, it took him two tries with the physical therapist before they would let him come home. I told the surgeon that, if I know my husband, it wouldn't take twice this time. I was right. I got to the hospital on Friday morning, the day after surgery, around 9 am. He had already done his walk down the hall and seen both the surgeon and his oncologist.
We are very thankful that he has done so well with both surgeries. The only problem he really had was the hiccups. He had several long episodes yesterday. I think it was a reaction to anesthesia. They did not have him do breathing therapy after this surgery, like the last one. He took it upon himself to do some. Luckily we still had the apparatus at home.
That is one of my biggest concerns with him, getting a respiratory infection. It seems to be one of the biggest killers of cancer patients. He has had monthly breathing treatments for the past year, since his stem cell transplants. By order of the transplant doctor. I believe that has prevented him getting sick several times. But, he has his last treatment next week, so that is a big prayer request that God would continue to shield him from that type of illness.
Al is getting around pretty well on his crutches. He was able to move his leg around more frequently that very first night after surgery, so he feels that helped to keep it from getting so stiff. It will take a week or so before he is able to completely dress himself and begin to walk on it without crutches.
Our next visit to the oncologist will be in about 2 weeks, when he will have to have a bone marrow biopsy. They will be checking the protein levels since he has been on a lower dose of Revlimid for the past few months. His favorite thing! I hope they are able to give him an IV, so it is not so painful.
I pray that the cancer levels have not gone back up. Lowering the chemo dose, does not seem to have made any impact on his energy level. It is still very low. We will see if there is any change in the red and white blood cell counts on his next visit.
That is pretty much all that is going on these days. We are still waiting for someone to be interested in our property. We are still waiting for someone to be interested in giving me a job interview. Assuming that this is even in God's plan for us.
Meanwhile, we celebrate what and when we can......a baby coming (Charli has been doing better), all our kids and family are healthy and doing well, God's abundant provision for us - physically, mentally and spiritually, and Al will be turning 58 next week.

Partial Book Review

2009-04-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

As I continue to read, "What In The World Is Going On?" by Dr. David Jeremiah, I am struck by the similarities between what he talks about the life of Christians in the end times, to mine and Al's lives today. In his chapter that deals with the Rapture, the USA and their role in end times, we are to be in anticipation of Christ's shout that only Christians will hear. The sound that will call those in Christ who are already "asleep", then those still alive, to join Him in heaven.
This waiting in anticipation is a feeling I am very familiar with at the moment. Waiting to sell our property, waiting to find a job, waiting to see if Al's company keeps him employed, waiting for our new grandchild... It seems that everything about our lives is in a state of limbo, waiting upon the Lord.
In all the discussion about signs and prophecies that point to Christ's return, we must remember that, as Christians, we will have no signs, or warnings before that shout. We will be way long gone before all those other signs and prophecies come to pass. This is what I believe as one who believes in Pre-Tribulation Rapture. And what a comfort that is! We won't have to endure the fall of the USA. We won't have to endure the total meltdown of the world's moral and social structure. Al will be cancer-free and whole again.

So, be on your guard....release the hold that the things of this world have upon you....rejoice in anticipation of the time when our Lord returns only for those of us who serve Him in our hearts. Be at your God-assigned post, working, waiting and watching.

This book is very interesting, exhiliarating and thought-provoking. I value any work based upon scripture that gives us reasons to examine our lives and how they are impacting the Kingdom of God.
I serve at the pleasure of the King.

What Are We To Do?

2009-04-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

My devotion just a few days ago so perfectly describes my experience at church last Sunday. It is based on Ephesians 3:18, which says "I pray that you...may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." Many times while singing praises to the Lord, I am "suddenly awash with the magnitude of His love for me". This is what brings me to joyous tears. I pray that each of you would experience the enormity of Christ's love for each of us.
I am now reading Dr. David Jeremiah's book "What in the World is Going On?" It is very fascinating! One chapter talks about the state of the world's oil supply and how it relates to us and our futures. It asks the question: what are we to do? ...in light of all that is happening in our world today.
For a Christian standpoint, Dr. Jeremiah says, we wait (upon the Lord), we work (at our appointed tasks), and we watch (for Christ's return). He quotes C.S. Lewis to say, "Life is short. The world is fragile. All of us are vulnerable, but we are here because this is our calling. Our lives are rooted not only in time, but also in eternity, and the life of learning, humbly offered to God, is its own reward."
This is so talking about where Al & I are today. The world around us seems to be crumbling and changing. But God is exhorting us to just wait for the next phase of His plan to be put into action for our lives, work where He has placed us until such time as He moves us elsewhere, and keep an eye out for the signs that He is ready to return for us.
So far, this book is very good. It relates biblical prophecy to events going on in the world today. It has a lot of very interesting things to say.
If you have read this book already, let me know what your thoughts are.
Al and I spent all day at Baylor yesterday. First the oncologist. Al's bloodwork seems about normal. He has no red or white blood cells. Normal ranges for males in WBC are 4.5 to 11.0, but Al's numbers are 2.3. Normal ranges for males in RBC are 4.5 to 5.90 and Al's are 2.9. He got a shot of Neupogen and a shot of Aranesp. One for white and one for red. (Where's the one for blue?) Hope those shots give his blood a boost! His HGB is low. His HCT is low. His MPV is low.
Next month they will test for the cancer protein levels.
They have a new chemo drug coming out this summer that they are hoping to be good for Al. Before that happens he will have to have some more tests done and get all his surgeries out of the way.
He had to get a full set of body X-rays, too.
Then we went to see his transplant doc for his one year checkup. All is well. He got his 12 month shots. The doc is looking into finding a donor for stem cells in case, some day, Al needs another stem cell transplant. He would not be able to use his own again, it would have to be someone elses. This will be a last ditch option as there are more complications with this type of transplant. He had hoped to give Al a couple of years cancer free with the transplants, but, alas, it was not to be.
Next week we go back to see the leg surgeon. Hoping to get going on the 2nd surgery. Then he may need to have that back surgery we talked about last year, but never did.
Meanwhile, Al seems to be doing quite good most days. Still has a bad day now and then, but as long as he takes his meds as prescribed, he seems to do well. We will see next month if the cancer remains at the low levels it was last time they checked it.
We sure do appreciate all the help we have had to get our property ready for sale. Al had some good help last week from Billy, Justin & Keith moving all his tools. This week our friend Brad came down from Irving to help clean more "stuff" out of the barn. Mikal came to install a new back door. I give God all the glory for putting these needs on the hearts of all these people. We just could not have done it without you guys!
Please pray for God's hand in getting our property sold quickly and for a good price. Maybe, then He will reveal to us where He wants us to live and what He has next for us. I am still looking for an office job with good benefits. But, there again, it is all in His hands.
Happy Easter to all.

Moving Sale was a Success!

2009-04-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

The sale on Friday and Saturday was a great success - thanks to our daughter, Kim and our friends Steve and Ina. I tried selling a couple of things while they were not available, & really blew it! I practically gave the stuff away! I wasn't allowed to sell anything after that.

There was still plenty of stuff left on Saturday. Kim and, our son, Keith, loaded the rest up on a trailer and we delivered it all to Marilyn. She is a wonderful lady south of Waxahachie who has a barn that is dedicated to a perpetual garage sale. She takes your stuff and sells it, then will give you the money when it sells. She specializes in helping those going on mission trips raise the money for their trips. What a ministry!

On top of that - her husband is a cook (they used to own a restaurant). He is going to use a grill of ours to do some fund raisers for missions. (Some of you will remember it from church cookouts and things).

We got to visit with our friends Mike and Kellie on Sunday, who are going to take the paintball equipment for Luke and Becca to use with the youth at their house.

As I blogged about earlier, these things God blessed us with, to use in ministry have now been given new homes to continue being used for ministry. Our furniture, our motorcycle, our campfire benches, our paintball equipment, our grill, - I'm beginning to lose track of it all!

George and Sherry came over on Saturday. He caulked the bathrooms while she cleaned the kitchen cabinets, inside and out. I don't know what she used on my sink, but it sparkles like new! It was a scratched and dingy white enamel - but not any more.

The garage sale is over, the carpet is cleaned and I am pooped! I think we'll take a couple of days off to go to doctor appointments and get all the household chores up to date. Maybe the real estate agent will have our property listed by the end of the week. Al hopes to have his left leg operation in a few weeks.

Otherwise, we are just going with the flow. Trying to accomplish the tasks set before us today.

Yesterday was our first day at church in a few weeks. It was a great service. The Holy Spirit just grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go! I just cried and cried. But with joy, thanksgiving and graditude. Tears really make a lot of people very nervous. They do all they can to get you to stop crying. But I just loved standing in the aisle after service with my friend Laurie and we were both just crying and talking. She just cried with me and rejoiced with me and made me feel loved. That is what church is suppose to be!

Again, many thanks to all who made the garage sale a success and helped me get my house cleaned for showing. God Bless you all, many times over. I hope to repay the favor at some point in my life.

I serve at the pleasure of the King.

Downhill Slide

2009-04-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

Whew! I have been working at a steady pace these past few weeks trying to get this house ready to put on the real estate market. But we are on the downhill slide. God has been so good to give me the strength each day to accomplish the tasks that have needed to get done. He has provided others to come along side to help with things that I just couldn't get to.
The attic is clean. (Thanks to our kids) All furniture is moved to storage or given away, except the essentials. (Our kids, their friends, the Holmes) A couple of rooms got painted. All the other rooms got touch up paint. The bathrooms got a good cleaning. (Thanks Dickie and Gloria!) Some garage sale items have gotten priced and the rest will get done today. (Thanks Steve and Ina!) The windows, ceiling fans and baseboards got cleaned. (Thanks Brenda, Kim and Elsa!) Others are coming on Saturday to get the kitchen cleaned good. The garage sale is here this Friday and Saturday. The carpet gets cleaned on Monday.
I have called the real estate agent to get it on the market next week.
We still have lots to do outside, but Al has not been able to do much because of the weather. Every time he gets things set up to do, it rains. This place takes a lot of wind and sunshine to dry up! We live in the blacklands. Ooey, gooey gumbo dirt. Good for farmers, not so good for anything else.
But we will get there. God's timing is perfect and we just have to wait on Him to get things all in place. We could use a few days to rest, anyway.
Al has been experiencing more pain in his back, again. They took him off the Aredia (bone strengthening) that he has had once a month for 2 years, to do the leg operation. That is why he is anxious to get back to the doctor in a couple of weeks to see if he will go ahead and do the operation on the other leg right away. Then he can get back on the Aredia.
The stomach cramps and other things he was experiencing for several weeks have gotten better since he started taking more pain meds for his back. He had been cutting way back on the pain meds. I am thinking it could have been withdrawal. That is a bridge we will eventually have to cross, but not today. Right now, he needs the pain meds. And we won't worry about it as long as he does need the medicines.
Charli continues to experience cramping and bleeding. We go to the doctor again today. Many have told us that they had these experiences during their preganacy. I can not speak to any of this as I had a great pregnancy with no sickness whatsoever. We just want the baby to be healthy.
Our prayer requests for this week would be:
(1) Quick sale of our property for a good price
(2) The health of Charli and the baby
(3) Al's discomfort would improve, his body healed
We thank you all and appreciate all your continued prayers. In Christ's Name we give Thanks.

Are We Just Dumb or What?

2009-03-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

Al just did our income tax. Are we just dumb or what? We didn't read the fine print on that stimulus check the government gave us last year. We didn't know that it was a loan that had to be paid back! It would have been nice to know we had a choice about whether we wanted it or not. There is just no relief - is there?
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.
So far, Charli's pregnancy seems to be okay. She may be one of those who just has to take it easy for the next 8 months. The sonogram pictures show No. 8 is just a miniscule bump, but a bump none-the-less. Praise the Lord.
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.
If we can get all our garage sale stuff sold (it looks like rain on that weekend), then we can get the house cleaned up and on the market for about the price we were hoping to get for it. Got some cleaning and painting to do. More stuff to put in storage. May have to come up with another plan for garage sale besides here.
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.
No luck, so far, on the job search. No one is even offering me an interview. After I get all this other stuff out of the way, I can spend more time on that project. The Lord knows our need and His timing is perfect.
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.
Al's health just doesn't seem to be improving. We had hoped that after getting off the pain meds after surgery, that the neuropathy would have gone away. No such luck. His sleeping is very irratic. He is awake most of the night, but then comes home and crashes for a few hours. The diarrhea continues to cause him to lose more and more weight. Because he can not keep any neutrients in his body, his energy level is still very low. We go back to the doctor on April 10. Hopefully he will have some answers.
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.
We are trusting in the Lord for the answers and explanations to all these things going on in our lives right now. We know that He has a perfect plan and all things that are happening are for the good of the Lord. We are happy to serve His Kingdom.
Please pray for us to continue in His will and to not get discouraged. That He give us the strength to withstand all that is thrown at us, through our relationship with Him. That He provide for us in every way, what we need, most especially the stamina to just get up each day and face the task at hand.
Blessing to you all, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Clean Attic & Bye-Bye Sofa

2009-03-18T06:19:00.000-07:00

Our attic is clean! Keith even picked up all the trash and loose socks & such that gets dropped. There is one thing left up there - Amber's toy chest. My sister, Joette and her daughter, Amber have lived with us several times. When she was young, Al was into wood-working. So he built her a toy chest. If you know Al, you know he doesn't like to do things on a reasonable scale. He is a man of extremes. (But, God is teaching him things about that) Anyway, the toy chest is made of cedar and measures about 3' tall, 3' deep and 4' long. It's big! Amber could have played house in that thing. I think we built this house around it! It will have to stay up there until Joette has a place for it or Amber comes from North Carolina to pick it up.
It is great to have the attic clean. I think I heard the house sigh from relief last night. Now I have to finish sorting it all out and burning all the old records. I think we had 15 years worth up there. Thanks so much to Mark, Keith, Kim, & Justin - they are great kids! But it's not over yet - we still have the barn to go. Fun times.
Another God-moment yesterday: Jacob and Rachel came to pick up the sofa and living room tables. I had been thinking, months ago, that if we were going to stay in this house, I wanted new furniture in the living room. So I asked God what He wanted me to do. He told me to offer our furniture to them. They have been married a year and just bought a house. They are our new youth directors at church. Perfect! Our sofa has seen many sleepovers with kids from our church over the past 15 years. It was very fitting for it to continue to be used for that purpose at their house.
God left out the part where I wouldn't be getting the new living room furniture for a while. Jacob wanted to pay something for it - I told Rachel that if they paid us, then I would be forced to clean the thing. But if they took it without any payment - she would have to do it. Besides, we will get payment before this move is over. We will be calling on Jacob and JW to bring the JH and HS guys over to help clean out and move stuff from the barn!
With each piece of furniture and each job accomplished around here - I feel the weight easing more and more from my shoulders. Everyone seems to think we are doing them a favor by giving them our stuff, when, in fact, they are doing us a favor by taking it!
I see God's hand in each and every move we are making here. I see how He is orchestrating our lives. To think how beautifully He is doing it just makes me cry.
Our freezer went to our daughter, Kim and her husband, Mark. It was huge! (do you see a trend here?) The biggest one Sears makes. Our lives have gotten to where we could not use that thing to it's fullest advantage. They have four boys & had been shopping for one. For the first time, she can buy ice cream at the store and stock up on frozen pizzas!
That sofa was a big sectional. It was perfect for this house when Justin was younger and while we were able to have parties for the youth. But it's days were numbered. It has ink stains and holes beginning to form. It is perfect for the youth to jump around on at the Holmes' house.
We have outdoor benches that we are donating to the Campfire Creek Therapeutic Riding Center. They have just about completed the awesome barn, and covered arena. Work has started on the bunkhouse/studio. (Another God project) I hear they had 25 people show up at their volunteer orientation last weekend. We are looking forward to getting this move behind us to that we can help out there, again.
Please join with us in our Praise to the Lord of our lives. Our prayer is to continue to follow Him. We are so thankful that the things He has blessed us with over the years, will continue to be used for His glory, long after our need for them has past.
I will look at each and every item we have and make sure He does not have a plan for it, other than my own selfish ones. When I get my new living room furniture - it could be in heaven! Praise the Lord. And all God's people said......

A Leap of Faith

2009-03-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Just to let you know what has been happening at our house this week. We are packing, moving, cleaning out the attic! We have no offers on our property. We don't even officially have it on the market. But God has put an urgency inside of me that won't let up. So, we are working by faith. Faith in God's plan.
I find myself saying to God several times a day, "I trust You". "I trust You". Because it just sounds silly to anyone who is not a believer that we would be doing all this without even knowing we can sell the place. It is all backward by most standards.
Our older kids had the time this weekend because the weather rained out all the baseball games, so we thought we would make good use of them. We got a lot accomplished. Kim is a speed-packer, her husband, Mark, is strong and our oldest son, Keith, is the comic relief.
Keith came and replaced the guest bath facet, which Al bought, but just can't sum up the energy to get done. This house is starting to show her age. It's time.
Mother has had the offer from a good friend of a spare, big room to move into, which will allow her to stay in Waxahachie. She will be able to continue working until it's time to quit. My sisters came down this weekend to get her started packing. We will get her all moved in the next few weeks.
Picking through 25 years of your life is a long, slow process. It will take us the next 3 weeks to get prepared for an Estate Sale the first weekend in April.
Please pray for us as we slowly, but surely go through all our things and determine the best place for it: storage, kids or trash!
We have found out this week, also, that we will be grandparents to No. 8 by the end of the year. Please pray for this young couple to seek God in every decision they make.
Pray that whomever is suppose to buy our property comes forward at just the right time. That I would find that job when it is needed.
Al continues to be in pain with his neuropathy. The hip and knee he is still learning to walk on. They lowered his chemo dose, but have not seen the effect that may have, yet. Even when he was not on chemo this past week, he still did not feel well (stomach) and still had very little energy. It may take some time for him to build up those red blood cells.

The Hits Just Keep on Comin'

2009-03-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

Last week Al and I decided that we were going to put our house up for sale since things just don't seem to be getting any better. As a matter of fact, it looks like his boss is building a case against him that will make his firing look like he was not doing his job. This has been confirmed, at least to me, several times over in the last few days.
On Friday, the boss called to give Al a chewing about how little his department profited the last few months. Never mind that the numbers he quoted were not correct. He says the bonus we received last month was not correct. Al doesn't do the figures. That is all done through the corporate office in Houston.
Then today Al's office got a call (while he was at the doctor), telling them they would not receive any bonus this month because they got too much last month. So it looks like that part of our salary will be null and void. We aren't talking that much money, but it was enough to make a difference.
All this does is confirm to me that we are doing the right thing. Putting our land up for sale and looking for me a job. I hope that you will pray with us about these issues. There is so much going on right now that it is hard to keep up. We are feeling a little like Job. The ashes just keep piling on.
But, in the words of Job:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb
And I will be stripped of everything when I die.
The Lord gave me everything I had
and the Lord has taken it away
Praise the name of the Lord!"
Then in chapter 13 he says: " Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him"
That is where we are at in our lives, along with many others these days. We are trusting in our Heavenly Father to provide for us in ways only He knows.
Al finally made his peace with giving up our place to God. We are not only okay with it, we are excited about the next chapter in our lives. Wondering what God has for us in this next leg of our journey.
Al felt good enough over the weekend to drag his smoker and a few other items (with the truck) to a friend's house. We are going to be sorting and packing over the next 3 or 4 weeks. Our daughter, Kim, will come over on her days off to help. My sisters are helping my Mom to decide what she can and wants to do, then get her packed and moved. I know she would love to stay in Waxahachie, but her income is not what would allow her to rent. My niece is checking to see if she is entitled to any more assistance from SS.
There will be a big Estate Sale out here the first weekend in April, so mark your calendars. We have a 72" projection tv that we are going to sell. Justin has a four wheeler he wants to sell.
There will be all kinds of things. I think JW is going to bring over some JH guys to help us get things out of the attic and maybe even help move more stuff to storage.
Pray we sell the land quickly and that I find a job quickly (with good benefits). Pray that Al's energy level would get better. The doc lowered his chemo dose to try to get the red blood cell count up. Let's pray that it doesn't allow the cancer levels to rise.
Pray that Justin would recover well and quickly from the oral surgery he had today. (Wisdom teeth)
Let's see, did I leave anything out? Told you there was a lot going on around here.
We have a plan. That plan is to continue preparing for Christ's return and in the meantime, follow His lead. I have felt Him pulling us to get ready for another change. Well, the time for change is here. When our place sells, we have a place to store our things, we have several offers of a place to stay. We have already given away a few things and have more to get picked up. When God is ready - we are ready to move!
Join us in Praising our Lord for His goodness and faithfulness to us - forever and always!
May the Lord Bless you and your loved ones as bountifully as he has ours.

Job Market

2009-03-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

I have been pounding the keyboard this week filling out resumes. Boy, have times changed since I last applied for a job! Everything is on-line. There is almost no one to talk to about a job. So I apply and I wait. I bet I applied to about 20 different websites, not counting already being registered at Work in Texas. Not very much out there. I heard there were jobs at the post office, if you can figure out how to apply. My resume is not all that fantastic, since I have spent the past 15 years working part-time & mostly in ministry.
But I have faith that God will supply me with the job He wants for me, when the time is right.
I'm not sure what the outcome of selling the land and house will be - our brother-in-law was going to help us, but he just got put back in the hospital with heart problems. Will have to come up with another game plan. We have not had time to really decide what to do about that.
It's Friday and next week is another opportunity for us to do what the Lord puts before us. We know that we will be just fine. It's just the headaches of doing everything that has to happen to get there. Downsizing is no easy task, especially when you have so many variables in the mix.
Al is doing much better - as far as the operation goes. He has been walking with only one crutch for the past week. He drove himself to his doctor appointments on Thursday (so I could pound on the keyboards for many more hours), then he drove himself to work today. He went in early & it is now after noon. He will be wiped out when he comes in.
We won't go back to the surgeon for another 4 weeks, but will see the oncologist next week. Our prayer would be that the chemo keeps the cancer under control (it would be nice if they came up with a drug that would do the job without also killing all his red blood cells) and that he fully recovers from this surgery so that we can go ahead with the other surgery.
Thanks for the prayers, support and good wishes.

House for Sale! part 2

2009-03-04T06:06:00.000-08:00

I have had several emails from those concerned with our situation. We definitely appreciate all the good advice, which is mostly - get a lawyer! I want to clarify what I said in part 1. They are not denying us disability based on what we own. We just have too much debt to be able to survive for months with no income, while they make a decision about him. While I am continuing to apply on-line for jobs, I haven't had any time to get out there and look in the marketplace.
I think we just need to find a lawyer who is experienced in disability and SS to help us figure out what we can do, what we are entitled to. So continue in your prayers that God will guide us. Thank you for all the help and advice. Keep it coming.

House for Sale!

2009-03-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

Our visit to the Social Security office was an eye opener. No one told us you had to be debt-free and jobless to even apply for disability. So we are racing against the clock now. We need to sell our house, our land, our tractor, pretty much everything we own, in order to pay off all our debt and buy a smaller place to live.
My Mom will have to move to my sisters. Justin will be on his own. It's every man for himself! Al needs to have the 2nd operation while we have insurance. I need to find a job with good benefits. All this has to happen before Al gets fired.
Then...when we are down to bare bones (no pun intended), they will let us apply. So, we are really in need of your prayers. It is going to have to be a God-thing. So if you don't hear from me for a while, it is because I am job-hunting, driving Al to work, having yard sales, packing up stuff to give away, moving my Mom, cleaning out the attic, cleaning out the barn and everything else.
If there is something you need, give me a call, we might have one for sale.

Al on crutches

2009-02-28T06:47:00.000-08:00

Al, one week after getting a rod inserted into his right thigh bone. We have made it to the office every day this week. He can probably walk without crutches, but we don't want to rush things. We saw the surgeon yesterday. Had to go see him earlier than planned because of a rash Al developed on his leg. Didn't seem to phase them. Got x-rays. Wish I could get a copy and post those for you. Interesting. Won't go back to him for 6 weeks. Hope to be talking, at that time, about doing the other leg.
Meanwhile, Al went without pain meds last night because we thought that might be what gave him his rash and we hadn't gotten the new Rx filled for different pain meds. He had a terrible night with night terrors and the neuropathy pain. He says the neuropathy is way worse than the pain in his hip or knee.
We pray for the Lord to keep us constantly on His path, making decisions that are glorifying to Him.

Hobble-Along-Al

2009-02-26T13:11:00.000-08:00

Al is slowly improving. We have been going to the office for several hours a day all this week. When the pain starts getting to him, we come home. He looks so good that it is hard for people to believe the amount of pain and tireness he is dealing with.
He still needs help getting dressed because he cannot reach his toes on his right foot. But he can do most everything else. He can shower by himself since we got the shower chair. Our room is starting to look like a hospital suite.
He gets around pretty good on the crutches, but he just doesn't go far or stand up for very long periods. The fatigue is still with him, but that is the chemo. We start our monthly round of doctor visits next week, so we will see how things are going.
It has been an interesting week. A couple of days ago, we loaded up the truck with Al, Mother and the 2 dogs. I dropped Mother off at the surgery center for a test and discovered she had left her phone at home. So we take the dogs to the groomer and go back to the house to retrieve the phone. After taking that back to the surgery center so Mother could call for her ride home (thanks, Jean!), we discover that Al forgot to give himself the shot.
He has to give himself a shot in the stomach every morning. It is to keep from getting a blood clot. So....back home to get the shot. Finally, we are able to take off for Irving and the office. It only took 2-1/2 hours to get there!
All is well. Mother's test came out good. She was not anxious. The dogs got a much needed bath and haircut. Got home and got some laundry done so we could wear clean underwear today. Al had a really good nap. We got some work done and even dropped by to visit his Dad. Whew! what a day. I was pretty much exhausted. But I'm getting some good exercise running back and forth.
I will post a picture of Al when he lets me take one.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

2009-02-23T06:00:00.001-08:00

Got up around 5 am this morning to get gimpy to work by 7. It's been a while since I had to do that on a regular basis. Looks like I will be setting up my laptop in the company conference room for a week or two.
He is doing pretty well. Went to that basketball game on Saturday. Went to church Sunday morning. That was pretty much all he could handle, though. He is having trouble sleeping again. I think his body is just too wired. It resists anything that wants to try and slow it down. He has always been a man of action. Can't sit still for very long. So I guess the body is in protest mode. Wants to be doing stuff.
I would love for him to be able to just take a couple weeks off and be able to rest, but that doesn't seem to be acceptable. Friends have expressed a desire to see Al's boss have an up close and personal experience with cancer. We do not wish that on anyone - no matter how unfair or unfeeling they may be. But I wouldn't mind him coming to an understanding of how Christ would handle the situation.
Others have said we should sue. While we may or may not have grounds, we want to go through all the right channels and give them every opportunity to do what is right and fair. We want to be able to walk away saying we have no regrets. That we can look our Lord in the eye and not feel ashamed of anything we did or said.
Don't think we did not already think all the things that others are expressing...we are just trying to be patient and waiting upon the Lord. If you give yourself time to think and pray before saying and acting...He usually gives you a check in your spirit.
Pray for us to continue to look to our Heavenly Father for the right way to handle each and every situation, every day. It is the only way we will be able to make our way through this maze of pain, anger, jealousy, frustration, injustice, legal matters, conflicts and so much more, with the grace and compassion for others that Jesus showed to those who mistreated him.
Pray for those who do not have the hope of eternity spent in a new body, with the Lord of the Universe.

The Excitement Never Ends

2009-02-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

Al got some good sleep last night, despite the leg. He is up and moving around this morning with the help of crutches. The biggest problem we are having is keeping the dogs from jumping up on him while he is sitting or laying down. We tried the fireplace screen as a fence, but Maizee just tried to jump it. They love their daddy!
He has to give himself a shot in the stomach every day for 2 weeks to prevent blood clots. Also for clots, he gets to wear this really sexy socks. All in all, it is amazing that he is getting around so well. The pain medicine, of course, has a lot to do with it. He does feel the screws in his hip and knee, so that will take some getting used to.
While Mother was fixing him some eggs this morning, she looked out the kitchen window and started hopping up and down screaming something I couldn't understand. I thought the pasture was on fire again. Then I understood "hawk" and "the baby" (meaning Kailee, the dog). I ran outside thinking I would be seeing my dog flying through the air in the talons of a hawk. But she's a fast runner and managed to escape. I turn around and there is my mom with her 22 rifle standing in the driveway fixin' to blast away at that hawk.
(For a mental picture - think Beverly Hillbillys)
Luckily, Al had managed to hobble outside on his crutches and took the gun from her and shot at it himself. I think it is illegal to kill one, but he scared it pretty good. That hawk was hugh! He also saved our vehicles which were in the line of sight.
It is always an adventure around here. Just when you think you're going to have a nice quite day at the house...those two manage to get your blood pumping...one way or another.
Al wants to try to go to Mansfield today and see the twins play basketball. It's there last game and we've never seen them play bastketball. I'm up for it. And don't be surprised if you see us at church tomorrow, either. But, if he wants to show you his incisions - just say "No thank you".
We thank the Lord that this surgery went so well. Not sure what will happen next week. I will probably be driving him to the office, since his boss is being difficult about him taking time off. I guess they forgot all the years that Al worked 12 and 14 hour days, for 6 and 7 days a week. He has given this company much more than he could ever be repaid for and they are not even sympathetic to his situation. Pray for them to have a God-inspired experience that will soften their heart.
Pray for us to be patience with each other, with others and with the circumstances. That we would give God the time and room He needs to work things for His own purposes. Pray for God to guide us through the maze of possibilities and choose the path He has laid out for us. We are considering beginning the process to get Al on disability. Not sure if he is eligible for LTD from work or how to work with those who may not want him to have that. Will start the process as soon as we feel it is right.
Pray for me to be in God's will about a job. We know it is the absolute wrong time to be looking, but ... God will have to find the one He wants me to have. I am mainly looking for something that has great benefits. We will need them when Al gets to the point of leaving his job.
Thanks to all who called and emailed and visited. Each time, it was just at the right time and just enough.
We are hoping for a swift recovery - so we can do it all again - on the other leg.
See ya in church!

Surgery Went Well

2009-02-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am home from the hospital. Al is doing well. This will not be a long blog as I have been up since 3 am. Had to be at the hospital very early. Al's dad and brother-in-law was there most of the morning. Billy Eaton and Terry Miller came and sat with us, too. I think we exceeded the 2 visitors rule.
The surgery began on schedule. It only took about an hour. It took much longer in recovery and waiting for an open room. He's in Truett Hospital, room 664.
I heard someone say he did have a little trouble breathing in recovery, so they had him on oxygen for a few hours. But the Respiratory Therapist came and got him doing some breathing exercises and so they were able to take him off the oxygen.
He ate a good lunch and supper. Was having some pain and soreness, but some of that was due to the return of feeling in his legs and the neuropathy. They gave him some good stuff, though and he was doing very well.
In order for him to come home tomorrow, he will have to go through some exercises with the Physical Therapist. I will be back up there tomorrow and see what's happening. If I know Al, he will make it a point to do whatever will get him home.
I give the Lord all the praise and glory for the ease of this day. I thank Him for reminding me through His Word and others who love Him that what we try to hang onto for our security means nothing. Christ is our ONLY security. Not our home, not our job, not our 401(k), not our health. All that can go away in a heartbeat. He will never leave or forsake us. We are His children and He loves us very much. All we have to do is Trust that what is happening in our lives, is not a punishment. It is a gift.
Thank you all for the many texts, emails and prayers. Thanks to Bruce for the hospital visit.
Will blog next week about other things going on in our lives...but for now, pray God would show us the way through the maze of our lives.
Our prayers go out to Deann Hosea. We know that Larry is in a better place and we praise God that he came to know the Lord at just the right time in his life.

Becoming the Man of Steel

2009-02-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

We are on the orthopaedic surgeon's schedule for this coming Thursday. He will be in Baylor-Dallas. The surgery takes approximately 2 hours. He has to stay overnight just to be sure all is okay and he has time to recover from the anesthesia. They say he can walk on it the next day if he feels comfortable doing so.
We got the results from his latest CBC. The protein levels (cancer) are the same as 2 months ago. That's good. They didn't go back up. Would like to see them go down some more. (A prayer request) But will take no change.
The cancer is not really the problem at this time. Most of the things he is dealing with now are from the chemo & steriods he has taken. The arthritis in the hips. The chemo-induced neuropathy.
The bone lesions in his legs are the cancer. I pray that this surgery will give him stability in his right leg and ease the pain. The cracks in his vertebrae are from the weakened bone. Pray the L5 will heal on it's own like the L3 has done.
Thanks for continuing to pray. Will be busy this week, but will update this blog later in the week. Sing praises to the Lord.

Bring On The Rain

2009-02-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you have heard this song. It's on my playlist. So many mornings I have my computer on to listen to music while I work on the computer or get dressed, this song never fails to lift my spirit. It's not the only one, but a good one. If you have speakers and can listen to music, scroll down to my playlist and click on "Bring On the Rain" by Jo Dee Messina. Here are the words.

Another day has almost come and gone
I can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away, somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost, but not the war.

'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain.

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start comin' down
Yea, I might feel defeated and I might hang my head
I might be barely breathin', but I'm not dead.

'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain.

No, I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight.

Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain.

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring onthe rain.

No, I'm not gonna cry.

Bring on, bring on, bring on the rain....

It reminds me of the daily struggle we all face, no matter how bad the battle gets, we have a Savior who has already won the war for us.

Putman Hospital

2009-02-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

God must be trying to teach me something. Everywhere I turn in this house is someone in need of nursing. Mother continues to experience weakness and stomach upset. I have no idea what the problem is. I think she will go back to the doctor for more bloodwork and maybe see a specialist.
Justin just got over swollen tonsils not too long ago and is even now on his way to the dentist to see about having his wisdom teeth out.
Yesterday, I had to make an unexpected visit to Dr. Mike for our youngest member, our dog, Kailee. She got bitten by a neighborhood dog. Had to have x-rays. Now she is on pain meds and antibiotics! She is doing well, but the wound has to be watched. The offender left evidence, a canine tooth inside her abdomen. It did not penetrate all the way through, but is in the 1st layer, Mike says.
Al went to visit his back doctor on Monday. Took more x-rays. The L3 crack has repaired itself, but the L5 has not. Will continue to watch it. Same situation as with the legs, pain is the big indicator. Are not anticipating any need for surgery at this time.
After our visit with the orthopedic surgeon on Friday and thinking we had a 3 month reprieve on the surgery - we are re-thinking this. Last Saturday, Al & I went out to the CCTRC barn.
While I was visiting with Emily and Jill, working on a newsletter project, etc., Al was outside enjoying the day and talking with Bobby. Our meeting went kind of long & come to find out, Al had been standing by his truck this whole time! By that evening, he was in pain. It did not get much better over the next few days. Then the nurse at the back doctor told him he could break his leg by what he did on Saturday. Just the weight of his body could break his leg while standing. So he called the surgeon back and scheduled an appointment for this coming Friday to discuss going ahead with the surgery.
We would ask your prayers for God's hand in this decision and on his doctor. I know that Al is not a fan of surgery or the hospital. But, in this case, it was his idea. It is amazing to me that throughout this whole ordeal that he has yet to be admitted to the hospital. He spent a few hours in the emergency room in the beginning when he got dehydrated, but that is all. Isn't God wonderful? The way He knows what will make us more comfortable - even when the situation is irreconcilable.
Please pray for Al's mental state of mind, also. He tries not to think about it, but I know that he is really getting discouraged about never feeling good, having no energy, in too much pain to walk very much, not feeling like going anywhere or doing anything. His mind is still building things, cooking fantastic BBQ, shooting, hunting, snow skiing, boating, water skiing, fishing, watching grandkids ball games, riding on the tractor, helping people, and much, much more. But his body just won't cooperate. Pray God gives him something interesting to do that will replace the more physical activities he has been used to all his life.
I thank our Lord that there is this procedure that will ease his pain and stabilize the bone. The surgeon says that it is a pretty simple day surgery. Two weeks recovery. They would insert a rod into his thigh bone and anchor it at the hip and knee. He will have to have it eventually in both legs, so we might as well do one before the bone breaks. He will be the "Man of Steel".
Will write an update next weekend after we have visited with the surgeon.
To God be the Glory!

Dem Bones, Dem Bones

2009-02-08T14:53:00.000-08:00

Al and I spent a lovely day in Dallas on Friday - NOT. We were in and out of different doctor's offices. Had some blood tests. Saw the oncologist. His cell count is pretty low, which it has been with this latest chemo. Got another shot of neupogen to boost that. Thankfully, he was not wired for 3 days, like the last time.
Even with the good pain medication, he has still been in a lot of pain. He takes them and they do well for a couple of hours, then he is watching the clock waiting for time to take more. So the doc gave him the same stuff in a slow release form. Now he only has to take it twice a day, and it seems to work much better.
Then we went to the orthopedic surgeons for our 3 month checkup. Took more X-rays of his legs. There doesn't seem to be much change, but the right leg is giving him some concern. There has been some deterioration and he is concerned that it might break with too much stress. We want to avoid a break, as that would be a lot more pain and recovery. He wants to put a rod in Al's right thigh. Well, he wants to do them both, but right now we are only talking about the right leg.
The indicator he usually uses is pain. If you are experiencing a lot of pain, then it would signal the need to put in the rods to relieve the stress. But since Al is on pain meds for the neuropathy, he doesn't really know if there would be pain in his thigh bones. So, we were given a 3 month reprieve on the surgery. It could go either way, so we wait. But, he will probably get the surgery sometime after the next visit to the surgeon. We want to do it BEFORE the bone gets too weak to hold his weight.
We have not yet gotten the results from his CBC blood tests to see how the protein levels are. We hope to hear something this week and that they have been further reduced by the chemo he is currently taking.
Our prayer requests would be for wisdom to know when the right time is for the surgery. That his protein levels would be further reduced. That the neuropathy would receed. That he would be as pain free as possible, for as long as possible. That is cell count would rise, giving him more energy.

More pix from Waxahachie

2009-02-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of Al and Kailee kickin' back on Super Bowl Sunday. Wasn't feeling too good that day. Made it to church, but went to bed for the kick-off.

This is what it looks like when you get just a little blowing snow or ice, but the ground is too warm for it to stick. Everything above ground had ice crystals on it, just on the north side. Winter in Texas ain't what it used to be.

Sunrise from my porch.

Book Review: The Shack

2009-01-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

First of all: it is a work of fiction. Knowing that and not expecting it to be perfectly in line with scripture, I really liked it. It had some very interesting ways of looking at our relationships. With God, with each other. It caused me to search my heart for traces of unbelief.
It took some difficult areas of understanding and presented an "outside the box" way to deal with them. I recommend this book as an exercise in expanding your capacity to allow God to work in your heart and life.
It gave me a different way to look beyond the trials and challenges we face today, to another world.

A Servant Heart

2009-01-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

If you want to see a servant heart at work, watch Al Putman. I'm not saying this just because he is my husband. Ask around. He has always had a servant heart, even before he gave himself to the Lord. He just used it in ordinary ways back then. Opening doors. Lending a hand. He'd give you the shirt off his back.
He even spent hundreds of hours one year helping a friend build his house, all while working a job that required overtime. He would drive there straight from working 10 hours and work on the house until very late at night. The next day he would do it all over again, for months. He was always that guy. As his wife, it used to frustrate me beyond measure. He was always off helping others.
After his salvation, he changed. Some probably didn't see it, but I did. God took a good man with a heart to serve others and just elevated that gift to a higher level. It has not been a gradual thing for Al. He is the kind that just jumps in the deep end. I, on the other hand, tend to stick my toe in the water and ease into service. I'm afraid of drowning, I guess, if I go too deep, too fast. Not so, Al.
If you have worked with Al in ministry or any other way, you probably already recognize this about him. After he received Christ as his Savior - he dove into men's bible study. I think he read 10 books that year. He had never read a whole book in his life and has not read one since, but he did what he needed to do, when it needed doing. "TOP GUN" was an awesome ministry.
When he got involved in youth ministry - he was darting all over the place, doing it all. Helping with missions, youth security and programs, setting up, tearing down, cleaning up, cooking for youth, for missionaries, for men's ministry, for staff. Then he became a deacon and helped in even more ways. Until 2 years ago when he got his diagnosis.
But even after the past 2 years and the the things he has dealt with and the pain he has been in. Still in. His servant heart bubbles up.
This past weekend was the first time in a while that he has felt halfway decent. He spend Saturday morning over at Larry Hosea's house. Larry has tumors that have returned. He was suppose to go for treatment to Baylor, but was too sick. So, Al got up Sunday morning and took him to Baylor. It took all his strength for the day. Then he got up this morning and took him again.
You can't tell me that God is not working in his heart and holding him up. It is amazing to see the awesome power of God in the life of a person. Those who are great people, but don't know Christ as their Savior, are just missing out on being AWESOME people.

Hanging on the Promises

2009-01-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

I am the same kind of nurse that I was a mother - somewhat neglectful and scatter-brained, at times. Good thing God is the one in charge around here. He didn't do too badly with Justin, so I guess He will take care of Al with or without me. His work is not finished with Justin. It is a promise. It's what I hang my hat on as a mother of a 21 year old.
With Al...there again, hanging on His promises.
We are approaching the 2 year mark of Al's diagnosis. I would have thought we would be at a different place. Someplace more definitive. It just continues to be a daily struggle for him to feel good at all. We are thankful for those moments and know that it could all be much worse.
After a mix up with his pain Rx (he got more hydrocodone instead of oxycodone) and taking days to get it straight, we thought he would be back to a good place. But, alas, not so. (How's that for drama!) He is still experiencing a lot of pain in his legs and feet. He still has the sniffles and just has no energy.
He got that shot of neupogen at our last visit with the doc, but that kept him awake for 3 days straight. It didn't give him energy, it just wired him. Made things worse.
It is a constant battle to get all the stars (energy, no pain, no ailments) to align themselves for him to have a whole day of feeling good. It is amazing to me that he still gets up and goes to work every day. I don't know what will happen when he is no longer able to do that.
I am so very grateful to our Lord that I have been able to be at home for Al these past 2 years. I don't know what the future looks like, but I know that God has got it all figured out. We just take each day as it comes. Deal with whatever has to be dealt with and let Him take care of future plans and needs. It is a difficult and easy place to be. Difficult if you have trouble letting go and easy if you do.

2009-01-21T08:24:00.000-08:00

Be Careful What You Wish For...You Just Might Get It!

2009-01-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

Hope you enjoy the pictures that I enjoy snapping outside my back door early in the morning, late in the evening or whenever the mood strikes me.

This is only Wednesday and it has already been a crazy week! Remember just a few days ago when I was whinning about not having anything to do? Don't do that. Since then, it has been non-stop go, go, go.

Al was in bed all day for several days this past week with an upper respitory infection. He was good. He went straight to the doctor as soon as he started getting sick. (Unlike years past) He stayed home from work, took his meds. But the cough medicine must have reacted with some of his other meds because it made him dizzy and just plain weird. He had a really terrible cough. He coughed so hard, he burst a blood vessel in his eye. I was concerned about the infection getting into his lungs and giving him pneumonia, but he (doctor that he is) assured me that it was not that bad.

Of course, this was over the weekend when you would have to take a trip to the emergency room if you needed a doctor. So, I allowed him the benefit of the doubt. He seemed to be getting better. By Sunday afternoon, he was okay to get up and help a couple of young ladies get their truck out of the mud in front of our house, when they came knocking. And he helped me take down the Christmas tree and put it in the attic (finally!). But he did have some more severe coughing fits and have trouble breathing. He still would not go to the doctor. He just went back to bed.

Monday morning we had to get up and drive to East Texas for a business meeting. I usually try to go with him on out of town trips to relieve him from driving all the time. Thankfully the company allows me to drive the truck. The meeting itself was a concern and ours prayers were answered that all went well and his company was not liable for mistakes made on this job. He did well. Not too much coughing. Seemed to be feeling better. Went to bed early.

Tuesday: another day for me to get out of bed at 4:30 am! (I don't see how he does it all the time.) Off to the office for a few hours before time to go see the oncologist. Good news.

All seems to be going well. They didn't do a CBC this time. That's where they check the protein levels in his blood. The doctor says to check it every month is like weighing yourself every day. You don't see much change. But his protein level a few months ago was .04% and now it is down to .03%, so this chemo is having some effect. That is great, since all we were hoping for was that it would maintain a steady level and not go up.

Because of the chemo and his fighting this respiratory stuff, his HCT (red & white blood cell count) was really, really low. No energy. So they gave him a shot of neupogen. It's the same stuff they gave him before his transplants that boost cell production.

His neuropathy (nerve pain in his legs and feet), is slowly getting better. It only took 2 months for the chemo Velcade to nearly paralyze him, but it has taken 3-4 months for it to even begin to start reversing those effects.

By the way, the doctor listened to Al's lungs & I was right. He did have pneumonia. BUT, because he had a breathing treatment already scheduled the day he began to get sick and because he went straight to the doctor for antibiotics, it did not ever get severe. The doctor says that pneumonia is easier to treat than the common cold, if you catch it in time. If not, it is what many people die from because they do not get it treated early enough.

So, we are looking forward to 3 weeks without a doctor's appointment. When Al can shake this respiratory stuff, he feels things will be looking up. He is expecting to feel like tackling a few projects around the place this summer, go turkey and varmit hunting, do lots of shooting, drive to Colorado and New Mexico in the coming months and who knows what else? When he has the energy, he is hard to keep up with.

Unfortunately, he did not sleep hardly at all last night, so he woke up extremely tired. Went to sleep a little before going on to work. I don't know if it was the neupogen shot or him laying awake worrying about me and Justin and work and a gillion things. I will have to remind him of Bruce's sermon of a few weeks ago about worrying.

Monday evening, I had a few of my heroes of the faith over to my house. We had a great time of sharing and prayer. I know that it is these prayers and those of all the ones all over the country who pray for us - many we do not even know - that sustain us, that bring us the victories. I hope to be invited to the homes of others who wish to join in prayer for our families and our churches and our communities. Thanks to all who came and all those who wanted to, but weren't able.

I am so thankful to our Lord for all the heroes of faith he has put into my life. Those who have won victories for me when I was not equipped or able to fight them. My prayer is that I meet even more who will fight for me and beside me in the battles ahead. I hope that I am and can be a hero to others, fighting for their victories, when they are weary and need a break.

So my time of inactivity seems to be over....becareful what you wish for....you just might get it! I have had 4 or 5 invitation arrive in the mail this week. Birthday parties, pampered chef parties, wedding parties, invites to dinner, invites to lunch....Don't tell me God isn't listening!

Seriously, I am going to do them all. I can't wait to jump back into the land of the living and for Al to be running circles around me, even if it makes me crazy!!!! Which it will not.

2009 is going to be a fun year.

CORRECTION

2009-01-14T08:31:00.000-08:00

I apologize. In an earlier blog, I stated that Larry had the same kind of cancer as Al. This is not true. I guess I misunderstood. I am not sure what kind of cancer he does have, but it really doesn't matter. It's all bad stuff. Our prayers are with him and his family.

Pity Party

2009-01-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

I have been having myself a nice little pity party the last day or so. Holiday funk. Missing my buds who have been busy with their own families and their own responsiblities. Tired of the life of blah. Sick husband. Weather that can't make up it's mind. Sick, whiny husband and did I say sick husband?
I really do love him, but he can be a big baby! There, I said it. I know I am suppose to be all supportive and sensitive about his every need and not be critical. After all, he has cancer. Sorry, the honeymoon is over. Cancer or no, he is still a man and gets on my nerves once in a while. Especially when you are the only one who he lets in on his every ache, his every pain, his every bm, his every chill, his every hot flash, his every everything!
But God is so good. He lets you stew in your own self-pity as long as you want. But when you are done with it, He will help you out of the pit. I was praying this morning that He would help me get past this. He did.
He gave me nursery duty at church this morning where I got to play with Miss Maddie Prohaska. He gave me a great friend like CJ who wrote me the most wonderful email that said exactly what I needed to hear at just the time I was needing it. He let our daughter send a me a sweet message and offer to help with "ole whiney behind" any time I needed her. Thanks Kim!
Al really is not doing too bad. I haven't heard him complain too much about the neuropathy this week. He has been in bed quite a bit, with the upper respiratory complaint, but that , too is getting better. He has been on antibiotics for a week and I think it is doing the trick. Been worried about him getting pneumonia, but he is doing really well right now. Watching the football game. Not coughing. I think he spit up a chunk of that congestion, so we should be good to go by tomorrow.
We are scheduled to go see the oncologist on Tuesday. Hopefully, we will see whether or not this latest chemo has held the cancer at bay. Pray that it is the thing for him right now. It has not caused him any problems. So, if it will just work on that cancer, we will be good.
He is coming up on his one year anniversary of his second transplant in March-April. If all goes well, he will begin getting his immunization shots. His blood is like that of a newborn. He needs to start getting all the shots that babies and toddlers get to protect him from all those diseases.
Keep lifting us up.

Strange weather

2009-01-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

As I suspected, Al felt good most of the day on Monday despite the icy weather, which usually puts him in a bad mood. He felt so good that he did not go to the doctor for his congestion & forgot to take his pain meds. He was hurting by the time he arrived home. He has learned to take the advice of our good friend Nurse Prescott: take your pain meds on a regular schedule and keep them in your system for the best results. When he does that, he has a good day.

So, he went to the doctor on Tuesday.

We got some rotten news over the weekend. Another member of our church who was diagnosed with this same cancer last year and underwent a stem cell transplant, has been given only 6 months to live. Al called to talk with him, but it was a very difficult conversation to have. Keep Larry and his wife in your prayers.

Sunday slump

2009-01-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

After the fun night with the bonfire and a couple of days just resting, Al got to try to go to the gun show again on Saturday. Line was too long AGAIN. He and Steve and Justin and Joey had a good time anyway. Going to breakfast, stopping at a few gun shops to look around.
Then Saturday afternoon and evening we drove to the deer lease outside Whitney. Had a great time sitting around talking to our good friends, JB and Vicki. Our daughter, Kim was there with her husband and 4 boys. The oldest demonstrated his fire starting skills on a campfire. Way to go Chance! Then we cooked hot dogs and s'mores. Seems to be the theme for 2009!
Al did go to the stand for a little while, until his leg started hurting. Before the evening was over, he was feeling pretty lousy. Not really sure what, just not feeling good.
Sunday morning he woke up hoarse and feeling even worse. I guess it was all that fresh air. So, once again, we missed church.
As it happened, he was scheduled to get a breathing treatment at Baylor this morning. Then he was going to go to the family doctor. We weren't sure if they would give him the treatment while he was sick. They did. I called just a little while ago. He sounded better than he has in months! He said he felt great. Praise God.
I'll take it - for as long as it lasts. Which may only be until he hits the door at home this afternoon, but it's a start. We thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers. We are expecting miracles this year.

New Year's Eve Bonfire

2009-01-02T15:00:00.000-08:00

It was great having the youth come out to cook hot dogs and s'mores over a campfire and then light the big bonfire that has been waiting for them for about 2 years. (Last year there was a burn ban) They sang some worship songs and listened to their new youth director, Jacob for a little bit, then topped off the evening with a few fireworks.

All you that have known Al very long, know that he is a pyromaniac. He had a great time helping Luke and Jacob light the fires and visiting with the parents and kids who came out. Luke and Becca brought little Maddie who loved it all. Rachel brought Bear. Our two little girls Maizee and Kailee were not very nice to Bear so they had to go to their room for the evening.

Hope to see the youth come make use of our place more this year. Congratulations to Jacob and Rachel for the new position and all the great things God is doing in their lives.

Goodbye 2008!

2008-12-31T10:25:00.000-08:00

It's noon on New Year's Eve. Al has just called to say his company has shut things down and he is on his way home for another long weekend. He has been very discouraged this holiday season because he has had 2 or 3 nice, long weekends, but hasn't felt like doing anything.
The weekend after Christmas, some family and friends came over to shoot rifles and pistols, but the wind blew like a hurricane. He never shot one time. The next day was absolutely beautiful, but by then he had used all his energy for the weekend. Didn't even feel like going to church.
He has been hitting the pain pills pretty steady. He was reluctant to take them much at first, because he did not want to become depend. But the pain is just too much. He takes the less potent stuff during the day, but the oxycodone he takes as soon as he arrives home. We just pray that when the time comes that he doesn't need it anymore (hopefully, that is soon) that he will be able to put it down and walk away.
We had a great surprise yesterday afternoon: Scott Cunningham came to visit for a little while. Terri and the kids were off doing some errands so he came by. He used to be WBC youth pastor. We worked with him for about 8 or so years. It was so good to see him. Nice to sit and talk to him and catch up. It really lifted Al's spirits. We are planning to make a trip up to Colorado to visit them - probably sooner than they are ready!
If you are wanting to do something for a person that is in our situation - that is the most uplifting thing - a visit born of true friendship and love.
Another bright spot on our horizon is Rachel and Jacob bringing the youth out to have a bonfire and campfire at our house tonight. We might not be able to plan and participate as we once did, but we do still want to feel a part and we want our place to be used to God's glory.
I have been reading The Shack, as I know many have already read. (CJ is reading it too) Will get back to you with a review and some thoughts when it all sinks in....
Have a Happy and Safe and Blessed New Year. Eat your black-eyed peas (even if there is no such thing as "luck") just because it is tradition and they are good with some ham and cornbread!
God is good - all the time -
He's my source - for 2009

Love to all. Thank each one who has kept us in their prayers. May God richly bless you in this new year. We are praying for better times when we are able to get out and visit more of you on a more regular basis.

Christmas 2008

2008-12-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

Al has been on double the Lyrica + B6 for a couple of weeks now. Not seeing a whole lot of change. We had a great holiday with the kids and grandkids on Christmas Eve and then went to his sister's house on Christmas Day. Lots of good food.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year!

Aredia + Valtrex -Velcade + Revlimid + Lyrica + B6

2008-12-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

We went for Al's monthly visit to the doctor yesterday. The equation above is the short version of what is going on with Al's medication right now. He has been getting monthly IV treatments of Aredia to strengthen his bones for about 18 months and this will continue, probably the rest of his life. He has taken Valtrex for over a year to hold off any outbreak of viral infections like Shingles. The Velcade is the nasty chemo that caused his neuopathy. So nix that and add the Revlimid, instead. Add to that Lyrica which is suppose to help reverse the effects of neuopathy.

After suffering for another month with the dibilitating pain in his legs, feet and one arm - the doctor has doubled his dose of Lyrica since it didn't seem to help much and added Vitamin B6.

Al seems to be one in thousands who have had this kind of reaction to the Velcade. So, therefore, any new drug that comes out along the same formula as Velcade, he will not be able to take. But, there are other types of drugs being developed.

For now, he is at an acceptable level with the cancer, that hopefully can be maintained with the Revlimid for an extended period of time. As long as he does not develop any further deterioration of the bones, we can live with this - minus the neuropathy.

The doc says the neuropathy will reverse itself - it will just take some time. I have tried to convince Al to take his pain medication on a regular schedule to reduce the amount of time he has to suffer, but he is uneasy about becoming dependent and sometimes waits too long between doses. I believe the pain has eased somewhat, but it is very slow progress.

Please pray that he would find some relief from this pain and that the neuropathy would begin to reverse itself. Pray for Al's frame of mind, as it is hard to maintain a positive attitude when you are in constant pain. Pray for Al at work, that God would be with him there to counsel him in the way to handle all situations and all people. Pray for God to guide Al and I along the path He has chosen for us. Not just walking that path, but joyfully skipping and singing and encouraging others along their paths, as well.

I hope that each of you have a blessed Christmas holiday with those that you love. I pray for God to reach each heart with His Saving Grace and bestow the gifts of peace and contentment upon you this joyous season.

We are giving God the glory for the many blessings He has bestowed upon us in 2008. Time to spend with our 3 wonderful kids, 7 fabulous (and good-looking) grandkids, sisters, brothers, mother, dad, all our friends. A home to shelter us. Vehicles to drive, a job to sustain us. A church to support us.

But, mostly, a Heavenly Savior who has made it possible for us to be forgiven of our sins and thereby, have the assurance of spending eternity with Him. This allows us to live in this disaster of a world with the hope of a better future.

Praise be to God in Heaven for the gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

God Sings to Us through Others & Table Decor

2008-12-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

Whew! what a busy week, this past week. It seems everyone wants to do things in the first week of December. It has been such a blur, I don't even remember it all...
Taking the tree down from the attic, rearranging the furniture to accomodate it, the ice maker is on the blink (no ice for weeks! devastating), the bathroom sink has a drip (took 3 trips to Home Depot to get that fixed), last minute invite to decorate a table at the WBC Women's Christmas dinner, helping Jill and Emily decorate the trailer for the Waxahachie Christmas Parade, shopping for decorations....It was all fun, but very tiring.
I only had a fuzzy idea about what I would do for table decorations on Friday evening. Jill and I shopped all day on Wednesday to try to find just the right table covering. All I knew at that point was that it would involve grapes. As Mother was decorating a table also & she was using her gold dishes, I didn't want to use gold also. I choose my burgundy and purple plates, along with the grape decor from my kitchen.
I began to pray about it. Yes, I was praying about table decorations!
As I had exhausted all other posibilities for a table covering and wasn't coming up with what I thought would work, I resorted to the fabric dept. All the table cloths, so far, had been in red and green or just not the right color. (I am a non-conformist and was determined to do something that really spoke about the real reason for the season-I don't think Jesus was born in a manger with red and green swaddling clothes!) Then I spotted the burlap. I wasn't sure how it would look, but it seemed the right thing to get, so I jumped out in faith and bought 5 yards. Cheap.
God put the idea in my head to have a table decorated for communion. I still did not have a good idea what it would look like until I got there and put it all together. I had my dishes & things, I had some of Mother's candlesticks and things, I used some of Laura Riza's napkins and rings, I used a fruit bowl from Jean Heffernan - it was a group effort. Wanda Westlake gave great advise. Johnny Carino's makes great communion bread and Welch's the "wine".
I must say, God sets a pretty table. It all came together: the tower of wooden bowls and candlesticks surrounded by a grapevine wreath with red berries & topped with a cross. All on top of a table covered with burlap, grape and burgundy plates (both square and round) and glasses embellished with grapes.
It was so fun to have most of my good friends sitting at that table with me. CJ and Jill and Kellie and Emily and Lisa.
To top the evening off, He sang to my heart through my good friend, Lisa Crouch. Any time Lisa sings - it fills my heart with such overpowering gratitude to Him, that I can not contain it. I cried and cried. (Imagine, me, crying in church!) It was so cleansing to have that opportunity to be held in the arms of God and my friends, while I sobbed my grateful heart out. Afterwards, about seven of us adjourned to the other room for a quick prayer time. It was such a blessing.
As it turned out, the table decorations were a reflection of Siyan Fayiga's message for the evening - we don't have to celebrate Christmas the way the world has told us we should. It doesn't have to be red and green and glittery. Celebrate the way God tells you to.
So, let God help you, even with the small stuff, like table decorations. You will enjoy it all the more and reap many blessings in the process.
The next morning, Jill, Emily and I were in the parade for Campfire Creek Therapeutic Riding Center. It was my first parade. Fun. I just rode in the back of the truck, mainly to take pictures of Anne and Seth and Bernice and all the kids that come for therapy. They and their parents seemed to be having a ball despite the cold. By Saturday evening, I was so exhausted, I think I went into a coma for about 10 hours.
BUT....the really good news is that Al and Justin finally got to go to a gun show for a few hours. Al had to sit down part of the time, and it really wore his legs out, but he slept really good Saturday night, too. The first time in a very long time. He is still in a lot of pain and still taking a lot of pain meds, but once in a while there are small signs that he may get better at some point. He felt well enough to go out to dinner and a movie with Billy Eaton on Friday night, too, while us gals were having our dinner.
All in all, it was a great start to a celebration of the birth of Christ. I am praying that our family will continue to look to Him for our strength, our direction, our physical and spiritual healing and our hope. And I am praying the same for you....

Tuesday

2008-12-02T08:18:00.000-08:00

We had a great day on Thanksgiving seeing my niece, Amber and her husband, James who were here from North Carolina. My sisters, Sue and Joette came to celebrate the holiday with turkey and all the trimmings. Our daughter, Kim came by with her horde of guys to visit Amber. Al's Dad came by. I really enjoyed having my sister, CJ with her husband, Joey, son Sean and sister Amanda come spend the evening hanging out.
Then we had the trip to the deer lease the next day (see last blog). Al and Justin tried to go to the gun show on Saturday, but the lines were too long. Al would not have been able to stand for that long. I guess it was a God thing, because we got a visit from pastor Bruce and his son, Robert that afternoon. That was encouraging. We all prayed together for the Lord to touch Al's body and to strengthen us both.
I have been trying to get Al up and moving just a little, so that maybe he can sleep at night. There's not much you can do that doesn't require too much exersion. So we went to the movies to see "Bolt". It was pretty cute.
I am thankful that he continues to be able to make it to work each day, even if he doesn't stay all day. That he can still go to church on Sundays, even if all he can do is walk straight from the truck to the back row.
I always hear how great he looks. But looks are deceiving. He feels much worse than he looks.
It seems that nothing is helping to ease his pain, or help him to sleep at night.
We had hoped that he would be doing much better by this time.
All we can do is to continue to trust in the Lord.

"May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!

May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!

May He send you help from the sanctuary

And support you from Zion!

May He remember all your meal offerings

And find your burnt offering acceptable!

May He grant you your heart's desire

And fulfull all your counsel!

We will sing for joy over your victory

And in the name of our God we will set up our banners

May the Lord fulfull all your petitions

Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed;

He will answer him from His holy heaven

With the saving strength of His right hand.

Some boast in chariots and some in horses,

But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.

They have bowed down and fallen,

But we have risen and stood upright,

Save, O Lord;

May the King answer us inthe day we call."

Psalm 20

25 Days Til Christmas!

2008-11-29T06:15:00.000-08:00

We did not get up early to go to the deer lease yesterday, but took it easy. We got there around Noon. We weren't sure we were going to be able to even get out of the truck because it was raining so hard just a few miles from there. But by the time we got to the gate, it had let up and stopped completely. Thank you for answered prayer, Lord.
Our daughter, Kim and her family were there. Mark and the boys had gathered some wood and were about to start a "manly" fire. Meaning: you douse it with gasoline.
We burnt some hot dogs and fed the fire some marshmellows. It was a great time. We just sat around and enjoyed the fire.
Then Al took Chance to sit on a field and Mark took Peyton and Jarrett to a tree stand to hunt. Mark shot a deer, but I never saw it. Al and Mark prepared the deer for the processor with a couple of the boys help.
Kim, Grant and I just stayed by the fire. Ate pumpkin bread shaped like turkeys and hearts. (Kim is an over-achiever) Talked with other friends who came to hunt. It was a perfect afternoon in the woods! No wind, just the right temperature. Good company.
I usually have to sit there by myself because most of the other ladies go hunting with there husbands. It was very nice.
Al did very well. He was tired, but nothing more than usual. We figure, if he is going to be in pain - he can at least be doing something he loves.
Today he is going to attempt to spend the day with Justin at the gun show.
Time to get that tree down and get started with the Christmas holiday season.....

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T08:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving all! Before I get in the kitchen and finish up our feast, I just wanted you all to know that we are inching forward.
Al is still in a lot of pain, but it is gradually getting a little better. We have determined (doctors, that we are) that the pain in his shoulder is probably the same thing as his hips. Damage due to the taking of steriods that first summer of 2007. That would mean that it may not get better until he has more radiation. Not the best news, but, at least, an explanation for why the pain is not receeding.
He does still have some side effects remaining from the Velcade. But the neuropathy is subsiding a little bit. He is able to walk better, but still can not stand for more than a few minutes. His feet remain swelled and painful.
But, he is gradually getting around doing a few things each day. We took his Dad, sister and brother-in-law to supper last night. He got up and put the turkey on the smoker early this morning (he is still not sleeping through the night) and he helped me bathe our two dogs this morning.
That is probably all he will do for today, but it is getting him moving around a little bit.
We are so thankful for all the prayers you have offered up to our Heavenly Father on our behalf. We are thankful to live in the United States of America. We are thankful to be able to worship and serve a risen Savior. We are thankful and grateful for our home, our family and each other.
Don't eat too much!

A hunting we will go....

2008-11-23T15:33:00.000-08:00

Al's symptoms seem to be getting better one minute, but then not the next. It is really hard to tell how he is doing these last few days. He is still not sleeping through the night, even with pain pills or sleeping pills. The neuropathy seems to have gotten better in his legs, but he still can not walk very well or stand up for more than a few minutes. His arm and shoulder still hurt.
We drove down to the deer lease on Saturday. Took some corn for his feeder. Our son-in-law, Mark and oldest grandson, Chance were there and helped him get that done. After chatting with some of the folks hanging around the campfire, he was ready to come home. He didn't even take his rifle with him! You know he's feeling bad.
Got up and went to church, but then he turned around and went back home. Said he slept pretty good for a few hours.
I guess his system is just all mixed up and doesn't know when to sleep and what to do.
Looks like the recovery from this last chemo is going to be very, very slow. Meanwhile, he has started the Revlimid pills (the 2nd chemo he took last year) without the steroid booster. It's hard to tell if he is having any side effects from it, since he still has so much lingering from the Velcade.
Please continue to pray that he does recover well enough to have a better quality of life. He is getting very discouraged to have no energy to do anything.
Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving with your family. We are giving much thanks to our Heavenly Father for all his grace and mercy to us.

Looking Up

2008-11-18T20:04:00.000-08:00

Al has had none of the chemo, Velcade in about 2 weeks, but he has continued to experience the side effects. Mostly neuropathy. A nerve thing in his legs and one arm, that is painful. It seems to have gotten worse over the past week. He has not slept well in several weeks.
Today we were at the doctor to find out what, if any, impact this latest chemo was having on his cancer. It did have a small impact. He was at .5% protein (cancer indicator) and he went down to .4% with 2 rounds of Velcade. The doc says in some people it completely knocks out the rest of the cancer cells, but Al only got a 20% reduction.
Therefore, we are going to discontinue the Velcade treatments. Since we have discovered Al is highly sensitive to any chemo that might effect the nervous system, we don't want to continue with this treatment. He had this same reaction way back with the first kind of chemo, Thylidomide. The doc says if we were to continue this he would end up not being able to even walk. We don't want the "cure" to be as bad or worse than the disease.
So....since we have exhausted all of the current treatments available for multiple myeloma that are feasible, he is going to return to the 2nd drug treatment, Revlimid. There are other treatments available, but since Al only has this small amount of cancer left, it would be "overkill". Meaning, the chemo would be too strong for what is needed. There is also clinical trials, but he is not to the point that this is necessary.
The Revlimid was working for Al and, as I recall, he had no serious side effects from it. Before they gave him a steroid chaser with the Revlimid, but we are going to forego the steroids this time, as they are the cause of the problems in his hips. They only took him off that to do the 2 stem cell transplants.
So things are looking up. There is more hope.
He has felt really bad for the past few weeks. He tried to go to church on Sunday, but just couldn't sit there. He went to try to lay down in the truck. He is very sorry if he was rude to a couple of people who tried to talk with him and ask him how he was - he was just feeling really terrible and had to lay down.
He is awfully tried and needs to get some rest. The pain medication he has had is not working, even when he takes the right dose. So the doctor gave him something stronger today. He says that after a while of not having any Velcade, that the neuropathy should ease up.
He started feeling something funny around his eye this morning too. He is fearful that it could be shingles returning. He had a case of them in his eye about 5-6 years ago. He has been on Velcade since he started stem cell treatments to try and prevent an occurance of shingles. I think they had cut his dose in half, so we need to jump on that before an outbreak. Nasty stuff.
I pray that the Revlimid will squash that remaining .4% of those nasty cancer cells without any further side effects. We are hoping for him to start feeling well enough to enjoy the holidays and be kicking up his heels and pestering me to go, go, go in 2009. We have lots of plans and much more work to accomplish, as the Lord wills.
Al is hoping to be able to get back to his duties as a deacon. I have signed up to help in the nursery. As things are looking up.....we are looking up.

Book Review: Same Kind of Different As Me

2008-11-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

I want to thank CJ and Beth for recommending this book to me. They don't know each other, but both mentioned this book to me within the space of a few weeks. I thought I should check it out. CJ brought it to me last week. I read a few chapters when I had some time, but this morning God was gracious enough to clear my slate long enough for me to finish reading the whole thing.
What a blessing! It is a book that everyone should read. I don't care who you are - you can learn something. I do not know how you can read this story and not be moved to racking sobs, as I was, because of the examples God has blessed us with.
Aside from the touching story of what a difference one person can make, is the amazing gift of how God works through people.
The wisdom He gives to some to share, even those who have never read His Word, but know it.
The struggles and disagreements that even true believers have with their God.
The bottomless well of compassion He allows some to spread across all boundaries.
The amazing work He can do with a ready and willing heart.
The amazing work He can do with a closed and stubborn heart.
If you are paying attention, you will see how we, as Christians (and as churches) need to quit judging each other based on all the things we judge each other on: race, looks, clothes, cars, money, knowledge (a biggie!), lack of visible sin, lack of visible service, jobs, homes....the list is endless!
We need to get back to just loving each other...that is what makes a difference.
I hope that you will find this book and read it and share it. After all of that - that you will find a way to make a change in your own life and the life of someone else, through the love of Christ. You will be blessed.
If you have read this book, I would love to hear your review...just post a comment here on my blog...

Hope

2008-11-11T11:47:00.000-08:00

After Al told the doctor how he has been feeling, the doctor said we would postpone more chemo for a week. I was happy that Al really told him how he was feeling. Sometimes he tries to be his own doctor and decide what he wants to tell the oncologist.
The doctor needs to see what the results are from the blood tests & that will take a few days. Meanwhile, he has given Al a new medicine for the neuropathy in his legs. This is the main cause of his not being able to rest.
We will go back next week and see what the tests say. If this chemo is not reducing the protein levels at all, then he will discontinue this treatment and look for something else. The protein level is only 0.5%, but we would like to achieve ZERO.
The doctor is concerned about quality of life and work for Al. If it is achieving no visible results, but creating all these adverse side effects - then there is no point in continuing it.
If, however, this chemo has had some effect on his protein levels (reduction, hopefully), then he will look at continuing it, but maybe at a lower dose.
This extra week will give us time, also, to see if the Lyrica works on the neuropathy. If it is successful, and the protein levels have gone down, he may stay at this dosage with a solution to the most adverse of the side effects.
One thing we did not address, was his tiredness and lack of energy. His red and white blood cell counts are still not up where they need to be, so this is a big part of it. He takes Folic Acid to help. The doctor was gone before I could remember to say something about it... I will address that next week, if he has not improved.
Pray for good results from all this.... God is soooo good. We give Him all the praise for the progress we have made in this fight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHANCE!

Just No Energy

2008-11-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

Last week I was hoping for some marked improvement for the side effects Al has been dealing with, since he did not receive any chemo. He did seem to feel a little better for a day or so, but then the fatigue seems to slam him. I think that when he starts feeling even marginally better, he rushes around trying to do too much and then WHAM!
We went to the orthopaedic surgeon on Friday. They took xrays. He sees no change, which is good. There is still plenty of bone structure. You can see on the xrays where the edges of his bones (we are mainly talking about his femurs) are a little rough. It looks a little like an old piece of wood where the edges are weathered. We will go back for xrays every 3 months to track this. If it gets to where there is too much erosion, then we will have to talk about the rods in his legs. Pray that is very, very far down the road.
We went to the movies to see Madagascar 2 after the doctor. Those penguins need to get a movie of their own - they steal the show! Then had dinner out with Al's dad, sister & brother-in-law, my mom & Justin. Tried the orginial Cafe Roma's in Lancaster - fantastic white pizza.
Al went hunting Saturday morning with Steve, while I spent the morning at the riding center. Rusty brought Jaxon out to ride a little and he just loved it!
Al shot an 8-point. So our freezer will be full next week. Guess I'd better get it cleaned out! Then Saturday evening we sat out in the yard around a campfire. Justin and Charli made s'mores. Lewayne and Virgil came by for a bit. It was nice. I love me a campfire.
Yes, we did get up and go to church, but I think Al slept through most of it. He just can't stand up for more than 5 minutes any longer. He has not been sleeping well, so that adds to all the other fatigue. I hate not going, but I hate that he is not able to enjoy going. He wants to get out of the house and do things, but it just totally wipes him out.
I want to say Thank You to Rusty, Billy, Tobey, Scott and all those on the men's softball team who were involved in coming out to the house and painting the trim. (Amber, too) Some that came didn't even know us. But God knows who you are and I pray His ample blessings upon you all and your family. It is a great load off my mind to have that job done.
We will be going back to the primary oncologist tomorrow to see what tests he want to do to see what, if any, effect this chemo is having on the cancer. Al says he is going to see if they will suspend the chemo treatments for a while to let his body start feeling better. I don't know if this is an option. I don't know if this is a good idea. I don't really know much of anything.
Please pray that God would give Dr. Maisel wisdom in his assessments and how to deal with a man who just wants to feel better, but may not ever.... I could use some prayer, also, to remain in Christ. To deal with Al through the power of the Holy Spirit and not let frustration and other human emotions rule the situation.
I will post again after we see what happens at the doctor's office tomorrow. Love to all.
Much love and thanks to our daughter, Kim. We love your pico! It was a great treat to come home and find you had delivered some.

I'm Such a Knucklehead!

2008-11-04T08:12:00.001-08:00

If you have been wondering where I was....I posted this blog on my Beginnings blog by mistake last Sunday and it has taken me this long to figure out how to get it transferred over to this current blog.....so read on.....

From Bad to Good to Terrible

2008-11-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

I guess the last time I blogged was about a week ago. In that time we have gone from bad to good to terrible - several times. At that time, Al was recovering from the nasty intestinal virus that hit him very hard and caused him to become extremely dehydrated. During all of that he still managed to get to the hospital twice a week for the past few weeks to get his chemo shots and go to work almost every day and spend some time getting ready for deer hunting.Meanwhile, I was busy rearranging the entire house to try to get him his favorite spot back for his chair in the living room. A desk with computer had previously occupied that space for the past few years. There is still much stuff to find a place for, but the major stuff has been moved with the help of our son, Justin.In the moving, which included my computer, I seemed to have lost my internet connection. I got a USB port to catch it with wireless connections, but have not been able to get it to work, yet. Today I pulled out the laptop with Al's internet card to get online. Hopefully, I will get mine up and running sometime this week. It is my connection to the rest of the world! So if you don't get a response from me via email, just call me. I do still talk on the phone sometimes. (See below)So, there were bright spots when he seemed to feel okay and felt like talking or interacting, but by the end of the week, not so much. It seems that most of the things that have caused him pain in the past, are all hurting again. I remember thinking, not too long ago, that if the pain went away with radiation, what would happen after the radiation was no more? Well, that time appears to be here and it is not good.His legs don't exactly hurt, but they cause him some discomfort. His hips and back hurt, even with the Hydrocodone. So much so that he isn't sleeping well. The heating pad helps some. But his stomach is still upset almost all of the time. He really has to push the liquids every day to keep from getting dehydrated again. He does a pretty good job of that, because I told him if he didn't, I would take him to the hospital for the fluids. Fortunately, they gave him some fluids by IV while he was at the hospital getting his monthly meds.He did get up and go deer hunting with Steve yesterday. He lasted all day, even though it was pretty hot. I went down there in the late afternoon and he wasn't feeling the best, but he stuck it out for the evening hunt. But he is paying for it today.I had all the good intentions of getting up and going to church today.....He did not sleep much, he is in pain and can't seem to get comfortable. Please pray for him to find some relief. I think he is just going to have to cut way back on what he does. I remember when he used to leave the house on the Friday before deer season opened and we didn't see him again until the following Sunday evening. No more.He is going to have to learn to take things very slowly and shorten his "playing time". I think it is going to take most of his energy just to make it to work and back as many days as he can.I don't know what all this means. He does not have chemo this week. I think they will begin doing tests next week to see what kind of effects the radiation and this new chemo have had, if any. If this chemo is not making things any better, I don't know what comes next.I know it is no fun having to go to work every day, feeling like he does. Especially when it seems that his boss is no longer very understanding. Pray for his bosses' heart to be softened toward his situation. And, of course, continue to pray that God's will be done in our lives. Healing would be good, but His will is most important.On a lighter note: I hope you enjoy my playlist! I know it is very eclectic and some are very ancient, but they are songs that lighten the heart in different ways. If you don't like what is playing, just click the forward button and it will change to something else.Also: I was gifted with a couple of bottles of "The Origianl Country Bob's All Purpose Sauce" and asked to write a review here on my blog. Yes, it is shameless advertising, but I said I would.I would have to say that I liked the sauce. It has a sweet, smokey taste that goes well with the hamburger patties that we used it on. I have not had a chance to use it on other meats, but feel it would be good with pork ribs. Look them up online to buy some.Another note: We cancelled our land line at the house because it just seemed like a waste of money when we mostly use our cell phones and all we would get are telemarketers, anyway.If you need to call, here is my cell : 972.743.0507 If you need Al or Justin or my mom, Lutean, call me and I will give you their number.Love to hear from you!We missed most of the football games, we missed the Country Reporter Festival, we missed the Fall Festivals. We have missed being involved with youth, going on missions trips, doing fund raisers, cooking for lots of causes, ... just being involved. We will be missing a whole lot more of the things that others take for granted being able to do. BUT we are trying to find new ways to enjoy the life we have now. God is good and we look to Him for our strength.Thanks to all who pray....who believe....who minister....who carry on....who persevere....

Blood Pressure

2008-10-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

After my last post, Al got to feeling okay. Went to work on Friday, but wasn't back to normal. We were going to go to the Bob Phillips Festival on Saturday, but he wasn't feelin up to it. Then on Sunday he got to feeling pretty bad again. I thought it was just residual effects from the virus.
Later in the day, he told me that he had been out of his blood pressure meds for a couple of days. Yeah, that will cause a few problems! All this after he had called in his meds and gone to CVS to pick them up.
Today he went to work and stayed there all day. Was feeling much better. (Duh! That's what happens when you have the proper medication.) He is still very weak, but after a few days of some food and meds and proper hydration, I think he will be good to go.
Until the next germ decides to attach itself to him. With his immune system compromised because of the chemo & stuff, he will always be subject to picking up germs that would not have bothered him a few years ago. Just another change in our lives that will probably be permanent.
He was really sorry he didn't feel up to talking with Rusty and Billy when they came out to work on painting the trim. You guys are awesome!

Stomach Virus

2008-10-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well, this sounds wrong, but Praise the Lord, it was a stomach virus! Al is feeling much better this morning. His stomach muscles are pretty sore, but he's able to get out of bed.
After talking with his oncologist last night, he said that it was not related to the chemo or the cancer. A nasty bug going around. Thanks to all who were praying and those who sent those sweet emails. (You know who you are, Wade, Emily, Norma, Cheri, Terri...)
Hospitals are such a good place to pick up all kinds of germs. We have gotten lax in our disinfecting of hands and stuff when we are in public places. They disinfect the chemo chairs, but not the elevator buttons, bathroom handles, waiting room chairs... It is so easy for these germs to spread.
Hopefully, this is the last catastrophe we will have to deal with for a few days. At our house, it is never very long between catastrophes of some kind.

I Spoke Too Soon

2008-10-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well, as soon as you give God praise and glory, Satan tries to get you to denounce Him. As soon as I reported that all was well with Al - BAM! He came home this afternoon with severe stomach cramps and nausea. He finally told me that he it had been hurting since yesterday and gotten progressively worse. Especially after eating lunch.
I pray that this is not how he is going to react to this drug, Velcade, each time. Otherwise he will surely be taken off of it. I hope it was just what he ate. After all the contents were removed from his stomach and all the way down to his toes, he is feeling a little better.
We will try to get him back on a liquid diet and then see if I can introduce some solids later this evening. Then he goes back for another shot on Friday morning. I'll let you know how things progress.

From Death Row to General Population

2008-10-21T18:42:00.000-07:00

We had a good visit with the oncologist today. After spending the last year and a half on what amounts to death row, we feel good about being released back into general population. While we are still in the cancer prison, we no longer anticipate death on a daily basis.
Al started out with a whole lot of myeloma cells in April '07. After 2 chemo treatments and 2 stem cell transplants, he is down to .5%. A really big reduction. The first chemo treatments nearly killed him. The transplants were not expected to put him in remission, but did greatly reduce the amount of cancer cells.
Then the radiation helped arrest the deterioration in his back and legs. He has finally begun to feel pretty good. He seems to be getting past the side effects from the radiation and the new chemo doesn't seem to have any - yet.
He will be on the new chemo, Velcade for a few more weeks before they do tests to determine whether or not it is decreasing the myeloma even more. If so, they will continue him on his present regimen of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. If they find it has not reduced the cancer at all, they will probably stop this treatment.
There are other treatments becoming available all the time. There is always full body radiation, which is not a desirable treatment, but an option down the line.
His back has been feeling better after the radiation. As long as he can manage the pain with heat and medication, he won't need any other treatment. If it gets too bad, he can have the plasty surgery, but we are hoping the cracked vertebrae will heal on it's own.
The doctor is very optimistic about his prognosis. Instead of the death sentence that accompanied this diagnosis just a few short years ago, there is a lot of hope. Geraldine Ferraro is one famous person who has been living with multiple myeloma for 10 to 12 years. She says that it is more of a chronic disease now which can be managed. Of course, this is not true of every person with this disease. There are a lot of factors involved. But we are thankful that Al was diagnosed early and was in such good health, with no other issues and got started with treatment before the disease did any damage to his kidneys or other vital organs.
Our goal, now, is to decrease the cancer as much as possible and then try to maintain quality of life. We have to be sure that the treatment is not worse than the disease. We also have to keep an eye on his vital organs, to be sure there is no issues that develop there. His kidneys are fine, but many others with this disease have had major problems in this area. So, they will be monitoring all his vital organs and the strength of his bones, which could be another area of great concern.
Al seems to be in such good health if you just take him at face value, but he will always have issues to deal with. Because he was in such good health (meaning no other health issues besides the cancer), he has tolerated all these treatments very well.
One issue that was addressed today was his anemia. He has continued to be easily tired. They gave him a shot of Arenest (not sure of the spelling) for that today. He had not gotten it before because you have to meet certain critria in order to receive it. I guess his numbers were down low enough and long enough to get it.
We give God all the praise and glory for the healing that has taken place, so far. We anticipate many years of extended good days to serve Him in whatever way He puts before us.

House Painting

2008-10-19T19:23:00.000-07:00

These wonderful people came to our house today and began scraping and painting the trim. We had painted the house a couple of years ago before Al was diagnosed, but never got to the trim. This spring, my Mom and I had tried to get it done, but didn't make much headway. When I was exchanging emails with our pal Rusty, he asked if we had any projects that needed doing. His softball team wanted to begin doing mission projects. At first, I didn't think we had any until I remembered the trim painting. That was only about a week ago and here they are...I pray God's blessing upon them. They will have to come back next weekend & bring some of the guys who couldn't make it this weekend. We really do appreciate the help.

Al is doing very well, but when he starts feeling better, he thinks he can go right back to doing all the things he used to could do. He can't. He overdoes it and winds up totally exhausted and in great pain. When others come and help get these things done, it takes the burden off him to worry about getting them done. Even though I think it is killing him to sit back and watch other people do things for him. Maybe, next, we can get some help dismantling the paintball coarse, hint, hint. It will make a fantastic bonfire!

We have lots of friends and family that we know who are more than willing to come and help. I am not using all those chips, just yet. I want him to do what he can because it makes him feel better to do something. Right now, he still can, to a point. In the future we will probably have to call on our fantastic son-in-law, Mark, along with his 4 strong boys or his best friend, Steve or his son, Keith, to help out with some things.

Since the whole economy has gone bust, we have decided God wants us to just sit tight where we are until He shows us His plan. In the meantime, Al and our wonderful son, Justin, have begun the big CLEAN UP. Justin works shift work and doesn't have a lot of days off when Al is off, but he is great about using his days to help around the farm. This will be a big help when & if the Lord allows us to sell and move. A lot less stuff to have to move or get rid of.

Getting rid of all the "stuff" you have collected over 25 years is a long, slow process. I am very proud of Al for beginning to let go of some of it. He has always been one to keep everything because he might have use of it some day. So....we have an acre of metal and wood and tools and gadgets and thingamagigs and whatchamacallits, just to name a few.

He has made great headway in starting the cleanup. Maybe by the time the economy kicks back into gear, we might have gotten rid of a lot of the stuff he will never need. It is very hard to give up your dreams and to know that all those projects you had been wanting to do....will never happen.

We will just have to come up with some new dreams, a new direction that is more appropriate to what our lives will be like in the future. We thank God that we have come this far in the battle of this disease. As a friend from many years ago wrote, we are trusting in the Bigger "C". Christ is bigger than cancer. He gives us a hope and a future, because He lives.

Motorcycle

2008-10-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

We have a buyer for the motorcycle! PLT. He came by last night to look at it and ride. Someone local that we had previously met. He ministers through his motorcycle group. So...not only do we have the burden of the motorcycle taken away, but it will be used for God's Glory to boot! I pray that all the financial elements fall into place to allow the sale to go through as planned.
I know it is a great disappointment to Al to have to give up riding. He waited 3o+ years to be able to have another motorcycle. He only had it for 2 years. I guess we were suppose to help pay for it, so that this person could afford it for his ministry. Amazing how God works!

Albuquerque

2008-10-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

After Al's last Velcade shot in his first round on Friday, we left for New Mexico. He felt good and loves nothing better than a road trip. Even though the night before he had experienced some pretty intense pain in his back (or hips).
He is still not able to determine exactly what is causing the pain. Don't know if it is the hips, the back or what. It could be left over from the radiation or it could be from the new chemo. It seems to be random and usually in the late evening.
We had a great time seeing our friends who moved there from Waxahachie with their two teenagers. They had only been back home from a year in Africa as missionaries when they got the opportunity to move for his job. It was a God thing because they had both always wanted to live out there. They both now work for a ministry called Faith Come By Hearing. Look it up, if you don't know anything about it...they are fulfilling THE GREAT COMMISSION. Exciting stuff.
The weather in Albuquerque was fantastic! Reminds me of Mexico. Unfortunately, the wind was pretty strong, so they cancelled the mass balloon launch on both days, the last 2 days of Balloon Festival. We did get to see a few launch on Monday morning from their balcony.
They had all kinds of plans for things to do while we were visiting, but Al's back began to hurt some on Saturday and he was up all night, so we just hung around the house, visited and watched the Cowboys blow it. It was nice, relaxing. We are thinking of going back this winter.
Never figured out what caused all the pain, but we did learn that applying heat to his back does help. By Sunday afternoon, with some rest and heat, he was doing much better.
He drove all the way on the trip home. Does he not trust my driving? Anyway, we stopped by Palo Duro Canyon on the way. Both of us are born and bred Texans, but had never been to the canyon. Awesome! We plan on going back there, too, when we have more time.

Velcade

2008-10-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

The latest chemo treatment was not suppose to make him sick, but he is feeling pretty lousy. I don't know if it is because they started him on it even before he finished with the radiation or if that has anything to do with it at all. I am praying that this is just his body getting used to the new drugs. He got up and went to work, anyway.
Isn't cancer just a cruel thing? We were going along pretty good. Things seemed to be getting better. Everyone told me how great he looked. He spent the weekend working around the farm, cleaning up metal. He has still had some side effects, but nothing he couldn't handle with some medicine.
Last week we went to visit at Campfire Creek Therapeutic Riding Center out near Five Points, south of Waxahachie. Our friend, Jill is just getting it started with her friends, Emily and Bobby. We had a great time getting to know these wonderful people. We have decided to begin volunteering to help them get this ministry growing. I am helping administratively Al hasn't yet determined what he will do. I imagine he will be a side walker or something of that nature, as he has always wanted to work with special needs kids.
We meet some other great volunteers and were looking forward to our first night out at the center together. But when Al came home last night he did not feel like going out there with me. I was disappointed, but I took Justin's girlfriend, Charli with me. She wants to help them with the horses. I am hoping Justin will get involved, also. My friend CJ came out to meet Emily and Bobby and Jill. She gave them some insight into a new program for RAD kids (look it up on the internet) called Beyond Consequences, for emotional challenged kids.
The riding center is building a new barn, arena and bunkhouse/studio. It will all be available for groups besides their riding therapy, art therapy and EAC (equine assisted counseling) They want it to be used for a place of healing from all types of physical, emotional and spiritual challenges.
Anyway, more about that on another blog. I have high hopes for this to be the direction God is leading us as a family. To be involved with His work through a ministry that is making a difference in the lives of others. It is not probably one I would have chosen on my own, but after just a couple of visits with these folks, I feel God in the whole scheme.
Al is excited to have a way to help others. Since his body is less able to do the physical activities that he is accustomed to, this will give him an outlet for some of that energy. He has always been an extremely mobile person. Always on the go. Extremely generous, too. He needs a way to use his energies. He and Bobby hit it off right away. He also met Donny, who is the unofficial chaplain of this new endeavor. They plan on having men's breakfasts out in the new barn, when that gets finished.
I ask for your prayers for Al's body to settle down with this new drug. Velcade. That God would lay His hands upon him. I thank the Lord for this new opportunity to focus on others needs.

Just Another Fun Day at the Hospital

2008-10-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we spent all day at Baylor hospital. Labs, Dr. visit, a couple of hours in the infusion room for his Aredia and a new chemotherapy drug, Velcade, then on to radiation. We got to eat lunch from the hospital cafeteria while he was hooked up to the IV. They really have pretty good food.
The visit with the oncologist did not have any surprises. He asks a lot of questions about how Al has been feeling. The answer: he has really been doing pretty well, lately. He has some uncomfortable side effects from the radiation, but nothing that can not be managed pretty easily. His back has been feeling much better. He has quit taking any pain medication other than occasional Tylenol or Advil. His legs ache a little, once in a while. The pain in both places is sporadic. He is sleeping better.
We give all the praise and glory to our Heavenly Father who is granting him some relief!
So...the doc started him on the Velcade immediately. It is a shot to be given by IV twice a week for two weeks, then one week off. He will go through about 4 cycles of this before they do any further testing. It is not suppose to make him sick or his hair fall out or anything, so hopefully, he will be feeling better and better.
When Al first went to see the oncologist, he had 5 grams of plasma cells in his blood. The first couple of chemotherapy treatments knocked it down pretty good, but also took a great toll on his body. The first transplant brought the plasma cells down to .6, which is pretty good, but we were hoping for zero. After the last transplant, the amount of plasma cells did not diminish further, so they are going to try to get it to zero using the Velcade. But no steroids, if possible. You will remember, it was the steroids that caused all these problems with his hips.
As for all the issues with hips, legs, back....they are all on the list to be monitored. None of the issues are serious enough, at this point, to warrant any kind of surgery (whew!).
After the radiation and the rounds of this new chemo...he will undergo all the tests again... blood, bone marrow biopsy, MRI, etc. Then we will see how this new treatment has worked.
We are thankful to be in a place of peace. We look around in the waiting room of each floor and see the devastation of cancer. It is staggering to see the numbers of people who are suffering just in this one hospital. And there are so many of these hospitals around the country and the world. We feel grateful to have access to great medical care, to have great medical insurance and to have a merciful and compassionate God.

Dog Days

2008-09-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

These are the dog days of cancer treatment. Waiting. Enduring. Today Al will get his 8th radiation treatment. He has done really well. Some side effects, but he is managing them pretty well. The nurse says that the doc only wrote up 12 treatments, so maybe we misunderstood the 20 we thought he was going to get. So he just has to get through next Thursday, for now.
We go on Tuesday back to the onocologist for bloodwork, Aredia, consult with doc and more radiation. We don't know if the doc is going to go ahead and start him on some maintenance chemo or wait until the radiologist is through with him.
Not sure why, but his back has been feeling very good since he started the radiation. He is not having to take any pain medication. The radiologist says it is not due to those treatments, but he will take credit for it anyway.
God is just laying his hands upon Al's pain for now. His real struggle now is his attitude. It is very difficult to find a reason to your life, when the doctors have said, "This is as good as it gets for the rest of your life, but it will get worse." I would ask that you pray for Al's heart and mind to be renewed in Christ.
God continues to bless me through His Word. I have begun a new bible study about the life of David. It is, once again, right on target. In I Samuel 14:6 Jonathan says, "Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf". He knew that God could save him & bring victory through him, he just didn't know if that was part God's plan. The same with Daniel & his 3 friends in the furnace. They knew God COULD save them, but would He CHOSE to do so?
I have learned that obedience is more important than sacrifice.
Our struggles are personal. Not that we should not seek help and guidance from each other, but we have to have that one on one relationship with God. We have to have our own understanding of who God is, what our own salvation means, what our own faith is built on and we have to take responsiblity for own own actions and obedience.
We need to be following Christ. We do not choose the battles, He does. We just follow behind him, be obedient and BE PREPARED.
I have learned we need to always wear our Sunday best. Not clothes. God doesn't care about our clothes. He cares about our best heart! Our best worship...our best skills....our best friendship....our best love
I learned we need to take God's Word over the opinion of others
Measure the size of what we are up against, next to the size of our God
I hope you have a blessed and anointed weekend.
...if you are new to my blog and don't know our whole story, you can read all about it on my other blog: kaputman2.blogspot.com

Radiation

2008-09-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

Peyton, #2 grandson

Al has had a total of 3 radiation treatments now. The first one was the worst. He got chills and fever. His skin was hot to the touch. He was nauseated. But once he found out (the next day) that he was suppose to drink lots of fluids, it was better. He had also not eaten much before that first treatment & his nerves were probably pretty bad.
I sent out an all-points prayer email. It worked! The next two treatments were not so bad. It helped to have further instructions from the nurse about the fluids and they gave him some cream to put on the areas that might get "burned". He is doing well enough today to go to the deer lease with his friend Steve. Of course, he could go to the deer lease, even when he isn't feeling good, but I think he is.
He says he had lost all modesty. He has to change into "the hospital gown" with nothing but his shoes and socks on. Then he has to sit in the radiation waiting room like that until they are ready for him. They don't make those gowns big enough to cover very much of a 6 foot, 230 lb guy.
As he tells it, they lay him on the table & tie his feet together so that he doesn't move them. Then he has to stretch his arms over his head. We know what that does to the hem of your skirt, huh, ladies? (Sorry for the visual) Anyway, they are radiating his hips to his knees, so they have the gown up around his neck anyway.
When it is time to turn him, he is not suppose to move, so the nurses have to turn him. He thought it would be just a couple of nurses, the same ones each time. But NOOOOOO....he gets to show off his fine physic to about 5 new nurses each day. (He thinks the word is spreading about how buff he is - shhhhh, we won't tell him)
Anyway, although the primary job of the radiation is to arrest further deterioration of tissue, it has made his back feel better. Not sure if it is just the heat from the treatment or what......we'll take whatever we can get! Time is the only thing that will tell if the treatment is doing it's job.
Thanks for the emails and prayers.
Happy Birthday, Peyton!

Hangin' in There

2008-09-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

Kelsey, #1 granddaughter

Al went to radiology this morning to get some more tattoos! They have to tattoo tiny dots on you to mark the exact places where they are to do radiation. That way they can radiate the same exact spot every day. It took 2.5 hours.

He is in pain almost constantly these days. It seems like this problem is progressing very rapidly. The pain these days is mostly in his hips. He had thought it was his back, but since seeing the radiologist, now knows it is his hips (mostly). The hip problems are not the cancer. It is from the cancer treatment - namely, steroids. That is some nasty stuff. I guess that is why it kills cancer.

We are hoping the radiation treatments he will receive over the next 20 days will bring some relief. I am not sure, though, as I believe the treatments are mainly to arrest the deterioration of this area, not necessarily to heal anything.

It is all so much to assimilate in your mind. What the oncologist says, what the transplant doctor tells us, and the orthopedic surgeon, and the back specialist and the radiologist....they all have different ways of looking at the situation.

The oncologist see things in terms of longevity. He is trying every treatment he feels will prolong Al's life. His primary concern is Al's blood and the amount of cancer it contains.

The BMT doc (bone marrow transplant oncologist) looks at the completed procedure and what resulted from that. Knowing whatever the results, there is nothing further he can do unless another type of transplant is called for by the primary oncologist. Even limited success is a good thing for him (& us), it looks great in the research data.

The back specialist is only concerned with what is going on in his vertabre. He prescribes the physical therapy accordingly, even though other problems may make that a painful process. He can only recommend what he feels is the best treatment at the time. At least we postponed the plasty surgery to give the L5 time to heal, but what about the lesions in the L3?

The orthopedic surgeon is concerned with his entire skeleton. The operative word here being "surgeon" (no pun intended) - he wants to operate. Thus the talk about putting rods in his legs to shore up the femurs. Which really freaked Al out....

Enter the radiologist. He really seems like he is very right on. Let's do some radiation in just the areas that need it (right now) and try to preserve as much bone as possible so that if it should come to surgery, there will be bone tissue to adhere the rods and a new hip to. (A hip replacement!) Al was, again, freaked out with all this cavalier talk of replacing major portions of his skeleton.

So here we are. Trying to hang. Start radiation. Try to make some sense of everything that everyone is telling us and who is in charge of what part of his body. In a few weeks (before we even finish radiation), we go back to the primary oncologist who will want to start him on the maintenance chemo, Velcade.

We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family that keep us constantly before the throne of God. I know that at any given time of each day, that there is probably someone who is praying for us. It does make a difference. When Al feels so bad that he can not pray or I am too overwhelmed that I can not pray...that is where everyone else comes in.

With God's help, I have been able to stay strong before Al. Sometimes in my quiet time I cry out to God, but not for Al to see my anguish. Most days, I just try to stay in the moment.

There is no road map for this disease. I learned this past week that there are 7 different varieties of multiple myeloma. It is very hard to find 2 people in the same area that have the exact same strain. So we are unable to compare treatments and get an idea of what the future looks like for us from others.

But there is hope. More and more research is being done for this cancer. There are more treatments available today than there was even a year and a half ago, when Al was diagnosed. Just a few years ago, the prognosis was 3 to 5 years. Now, it just depends upon how well you tolerate the treatments. Some are living 10-12 years.

We also know that heaven waits for us when the battle is over and that God is the only One who is in charge of life and death. We know where we will spend eternity - together, along with most (prayerfully, all) those that we love.

Thanks to those who we interacted with this week - you are a blessing!

Kerry & Kelsey (oldest grandchild, see pix), CJ (getting me out of the house), Joey (thanks for meeting with Al on Sunday), Sherrie, Priscilla & Warren, Winnie (crying with me), Leslie, Diane, Ruth, Melissa, Lori, Ami, Sandra, Anne & everyone in Sunday school, Tim, Scott, Billy, Jeff & all the guys that encouraged Al on Sunday, Jill (giving me something to do), Justin (for being a great son & changing my tire & mowing & stuff)...if I didn't get to you, I will eventually.

Give me some time!

2008-09-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

I am a new blogger. So, give me some time to get my feet wet with this stuff. I will get better - trust me! My friend CJ has been blogging and writing for a long time, now. She had been telling me I needed to do this. I am slow to jump on the band wagon, but when I do - I'm there for the long haul.
I have been journaling and writing emails to friends and family for over a year now. It has been very good for me as an outlet for all the thoughts and feelings I have been experiencing due to the extreme life changing events of the past year. I am hoping that by going web-wide I can get some feedback from others with these same experiences and/or feelings.
My husband was diagnosed with multiple myeloma (cancer of the blood) last April. It has been a rollercoaster ride ever since. He has been through 5 rounds of chemotherapy, 2 stem cell transplants and lots of tests. He has reached his plateau, but is not in remission.
He is going to start some radiation treatments to the 3 areas that are giving him trouble right now: the hips, the femurs, & the L5 & L3 vertebrae. They begin the 20 treatments next week, after which he will be getting on a maintenance program of lower doses of chemo called Velcade.
He has been getting very discouraged lately. He has been experiencing more and more aches & pains in his bones. He has begun to realize that he has to give up things he has always loved to do, like riding his motorcycle, snow skiing, water skiing, etc. His body will not longer stand up to hours and hours of laboring, whether it is for fun or for work. He can't spend the whole weekend mowing, weedeating, washing and waxing the vehicles, handling the hundreds of chores he used to.
We are extremely grateful to our Heavenly Father for all the love and encouragement He has made known to us through friends and family. It has been our saving grace. We don't know how people with no faith in Jesus Christ can withstand all the ups and downs of something like this. Knowing that however short our time together is on this earth, we will spend eternity together in heaven.
I would love to hear from others who may be going through this same experience. To hear how they are coping. Where they get information. What things have helped them. What they have learned through this journey.